For some people it is very easy to respect the freedom and will of others, allowing them to act according to their criteria. For others, men and women, it is almost impossible, and they try to control everything that happens around them, including what they do or what happens to their partner, their children, their friends, co-workers, etc. This attempt to control everything Not only does it represent a great level of stress for both those who control and those who are controlled, but it can seriously damage the personal relationships of those who are controlling, since they end up alienating everyone from their side, due to the suffering that their behavior causes.
Trust and communication
To avoid this, the first thing we must keep in mind is that trying to control everything and everyone is an illusion.
Many times this attempt at control, especially in a couple, comes from the fear of not being loved or being abandoned. We must keep in mind that one of the bases to eliminate this fear, whether in the couple or in another area, is trust and communication, expressing our fears and allowing the other to express themselves freely. In this way, we can gradually put those fears aside.
Place trust in each other
In the case of children, parents are usually controlling to prevent them from being in danger or because they feel insecure about their affection, and in this way they try not to lose them. Trust in children and granting them our trust is one of the first steps to also avoid this desire for control.
Given the fear that something will happen to them, if it is very intense, it is advisable to follow therapy to learn to control this anxiety. If it is not, every time the fear of something happening appears, we should try to relax, breathing deeply and stopping the torrent of thoughts that give rise to anxiety.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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