In general, aversion to sex is a defense mechanism. When thinking about intimacy or having sex, the avoidant feels emotional distress and physical symptoms, such as nausea and tense muscles, or may have panic attacks. This sexual avoidance can cause more emotional distress, humiliation, shame, and low self-esteem, both for the person who avoids sex and for the partner who is rejected.
At its clinical point is sexual aversion disorder: one of two disorders of sexual desire in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), defined as a “persistent or recurrent extreme aversion to and avoidance of all or almost all all genital sexual contact with a sexual partner,” which causes distress or interpersonal difficulty. Often, the person will even avoid genital contact related to a gynecological exam or procedure. Sexual aversion disorder can be so traumatic that the person will not allow any physical contact or kissing. The DSM places it within sexual dysfunctions; However, scholars suggest that its most appropriate placement would be as an anxiety disorder.
People who have more sex report higher self-esteem, life satisfaction, and quality of life. On the contrary, the lower frequency of sexual relations and the avoidance of sexual relations are related to psychological problems, anxiety, depression and problems in the relationship. Sexual avoidance influences multiple aspects of our well-being, and the reasons why someone may do so are very varied.
In his landmark work, Alfred Kinsey found that up to 19% of adults do not have sex. This varies by gender and marital status, and almost no married man goes without sex for an extended period.
Other research also confirms that women avoid sex more often than men. In fact, up to 40% of women avoid sex at some point in their lives. Pain during sex and low libido are big problems.
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Even in adolescence, more women than men abstain from sex.
Women are also more likely to avoid sex due to childhood sexual abuse. Pregnant women fear miscarriage or harm to the fetus, and may also reject sex due to lack of interest and fatigue.
The most common reasons for men to avoid sex are erectile dysfunction, chronic medical conditions, and lack of opportunity.
Medical issues
For both men and women, medical problems are the main reasons for avoiding sex.
For example, patients with heart disease often avoid sex because they are afraid of a heart attack. Other research has shown the same for people with cerebrovascular conditions, such as stroke.
Chronic pain decreases the pleasure of sexual intercourse and directly interferes by limiting positions. Depression and the stress it causes can interfere, as can certain medications for chronic pain.
Metabolic conditions such as diabetes and obesity reduce sexual activity. In fact, diabetes accelerates sexual decline in men by up to 15 years. Large body mass and poor body image play a fundamental role in having the opportunity to have sexual relations.
Personality disorders, addiction and substance abuse, and poor sleep quality all play a role in sexual interest and abilities.
Many medications, such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, reduce libido and sexual activity and, as a result, increase the risk of sexual avoidance.
Finally, low levels of testosterone for men and low levels of dopamine and serotonin in men and women may also play a role.
Social and emotional factors
For both sexes, it reduces the amount of time shared with other people and the opportunity for interactions with others and intimacy. People who are alone sometimes replace real sex with the use of pornography. This becomes important as pornography could negatively affect sexual performance over time.
Many older adults do not have sex because of shame and feelings of guilt or simply because they think they are “too old to have sex.” However, it would be a mistake to assume that older adults are not i. In fact, a recent study demystifies the idea of the “; It even found that while many older adults had sex much less frequently than people in their 20s and 30s, one-third of older adults reported having sex more often than the average for the younger generation.
The solution?
Few people talk to their doctors about their sexual problems. In fact, at least half of all doctor visits do not address sexual problems.
Embarrassment, cultural and religious factors, and lack of time can be obstacles for some doctors to ask about their patients’ sex lives. Some of them believe that addressing sexual problems creates too much closeness with the patient. Others think that talking about sexuality will take too much time.
However, while some doctors may be afraid to ask their patients about sex, research has shown that patients seem willing to give an answer if asked. This means that your sexual problems are not addressed unless the doctor mentions it.
The point is that patients could benefit from a little help, such as advice and medical information regarding recommended positions to avoid pain, for patients with arthritis or low back pain.
Breaking down the barrier of dialogue is essential.
Treatment for sex avoidance (Rosen, 2017)
Depending on its root cause, sex avoidance can be effectively treated on its own or as part of anxiety disorder therapy.
Cognitive behavioral therapy and psychodynamic therapy can help reduce anxiety, fear, and negative emotions. These therapies can be performed individually, in group therapy, or online, depending on the patient’s particular preference.
Recently, research found that .
Sexual function can often be improved with the use of certain medications. It is essential to consult a doctor before consuming any drug. If you are already taking medication for anxiety disorder, talk to your doctor about adjusting your dosage for this purpose.
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