Anger is one of the emotions that all human beings experience at some point in our lives, and it is important to note that it is not something bad in and of itself. Emotions are there to help us understand and cope with the various situations that arise.
The bad thing happens when anger is constantly present, and when we feel that we lose control over it and act impulsively and riskily, putting ourselves and/or third parties in danger.
Anger: what it is and how it manifests
Anger can be defined as an emotional reaction that arises when we consider that there is a negative result for our interests; Also, when we get frustrated (usually this is the direct consequence), when they harm us, they lie to us, we consider that they have failed us… or when things do not happen as we expected.
Above all, we feel anger when we think that what is happening could have been avoided. Logically, each person will be affected in a unique way (and it will arise for one reason or another).
On a physiological level, when we feel anger, our body becomes overactive to “fight”, both at a motor and cardiovascular level. The feeling of anger is often accompanied by anger, and this emotion is aimed at showing our disagreement with the situation. Although uncontrolled anger generates discomfort and must be addressed, from a psychological point of view, the truth is that this emotion also includes a series of adaptive functions, such as:
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- The organization and regulation of internal processes, both of our body and our mind.
- The regulation and construction of interpersonal and social relationships.
- So, how do we know if we have anger problems and therefore require psychological help? We give you some keys to find out.
Do I have anger problems?
As we have explained to you, feeling anger in certain situations is normal and even expected; So how do I know if I have anger problems? Take into account the following signs:
- You experience anger very frequently, even in situations that do not warrant you getting angry.
- You frequently argue with other people for various reasons.
- You act impulsively when you feel anger.
- You can resort to violence in moments of anger, we are not only referring to physical violence, but also verbal.
- You feel very irritable, have very little patience and can be very hostile towards other people.
- At times when you have experienced a lot of anger, you have hit or broken objects without control.
- You have said things you regret during your moments of anger.
- Your interpersonal relationships have been affected by your anger.
- You feel like you have a lot of anger and that you can’t control it.
- You prefer to avoid certain situations in which you know you may have angry outbursts.
If you answered yes to some of these items, you probably have anger control problems. This is not something you should feel bad about or blame yourself for, but it is something that should prompt you to request the help of qualified people to learn to manage your emotions.
Psychological treatments for anger: common techniques or strategies
Within psychological approaches, there are a wide variety of techniques for the treatment of anger, which vary depending on their approach, objectives to work on, characteristics of the person, etc. However, there are some canons (techniques, strategies and/or objectives) in common for any type of anger control therapy. We extract them from the treatments proposed in Caballo (2002):
Self-knowledge is the key
Learning to recognize in yourself the signs that indicate that you are going to have an attack of anger is essential to learning to control it; For this reason, in any type of therapy we work to help the patient learn to identify the warning signs before anything else (that moment of “no return”, which leads us to become excessively angry).
Determine the cause
In any approach, one of the main points to work on is determining what the real cause of the anger is.
By this we are not referring to what happens that causes you to explode, but to the background that causes it (this involves learning to differentiate what happens to us from what we interpret as happening to us).
Recognize the triggers
On the other hand, it is important that you learn to recognize the situations that trigger your anger, and based on these, learn to manage them assertively.
Acquire new tools
Having new strategies for acting when you feel anger will help you handle the situation better. It may arise in situations that you cannot avoid, but you can change the way you deal with it.
Communication is important
Learning to communicate what you feel assertively can help you create better strategies for dealing with anger.
It is a continuous work, but over time, you will notice that it becomes much easier. It is important to learn to speak respectfully without becoming aggressive.
Don’t ignore what you feel
It is important that you pay attention to your anger, especially if you notice that you have problems controlling it. Keep in mind that anger and constant outbursts of anger are often related to other psychological problems that can be serious, such as depression.
If you feel that you have difficulty controlling anger, or that you experience it very frequently in your life, we encourage you to seek professional help. A psychologist or psychiatrist will be able to help you understand what you feel, and will give you strategies to manage these situations in an assertive and healthy way for you.
References:
- Horse (2002). Manual for the cognitive-behavioral treatment of psychological disorders. Madrid. XXI century.