He perinatal grief It is a very particular case of grief. It is motivated by the loss of a baby during the pregnancy period, at the time of delivery or in the hours or days immediately following.
After a death or loss of a loved one, the grieving phase. This acquires a very significant relevance in the case of perinatal grief. In these circumstances, pain is particularly related to a sudden and unexpected rupture of illusions and expectations for the couple. Furthermore, in the case of the mother, it happens at a time of high hormonal activity that makes it even more difficult to assimilate the loss.
The psychological impact of perinatal grief and its uniqueness
The shock that follows the loss of the expected child is characterized, above all, by feelings of suffering, anguish and confusion. Its impact can disrupt the emotional, social, relationship, work, etc.
Although most couples recover little by little from the emotional shock, there is a high percentage (between 15% and 25%) who have greater difficulties in overcoming it. Some of the most common problems are the following:
- Anxiety
- Death anxiety
- Feelings of guilt
- Irritability
- which can affect the couple in future pregnancies, since they live a new experience of this type with great anxiety.
What phases does perinatal grief have?
Although each grieving process is individual and different from the others, several phases have been defined that tend to be the most common:
- Shock and denial: Parents can’t believe what’s happening.
- Gonna: Confusion leads to rage and anger, with feelings of self-blame or blaming others.
- Negotiation phase: the phase in which you try to find answers.
- Sadness or depression: There is greater awareness of what happened and the fact that it can no longer be resolved, with which painful feelings make their way.
- Acceptance: the situation is assumed and the pain is mitigated. Although an event like this is never forgotten and its memory is a source of unease, people are leaving and recovering the ability to get excited.
What factors can influence more severe grief?
- Previous psychiatric problems
- Previous losses
- History of depression
- Maladaptive coping styles
- Lack of family and social support
The lack of support It is very counterproductive for the parents’ perinatal grief. In this sense, there is a certain taboo in this regard that hinders legitimizing the pain to overcome the problem.
Faced with the impossibility of offering effective comfort, the couple’s environment tends to downplay its importance, with well-intentioned, but not at all appropriate, phrases (such as “you’ll have another one”). These are all signs of affection, but hardly adequate. In fact, they make the person grieving not feel understood.
In relation to the above, until recently there have been no specific health protocols that contribute to humanizing such a painful experience. Fortunately, the situation is changing in our hospitals, although there is still much work to do.
Treatment
Overcoming grief takes time, especially when it has characteristics as peculiar as perinatal grief. Furthermore, each case has its idiosyncrasies that must be kept in mind during the intervention.
Greater social awareness on this issue would be of great help so that parents feel more understood and can better direct their recovery.
Memory boxes, photo albums, and creating physical and psychological spaces for the baby’s memory are common to cope with the loss.
When the problem cannot be overcome without help and there is a blockage that prevents moving forward, it is necessary to request specialized psychological care.
There are different therapies that can help express feelings, manage emotions, manage anxiety and learn strategies to recover psychological stability.
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