We live in a society where a lot of importance is given to sex and many things are hypersexualized, even though there is a lack of sexual education. We have many erotic-sexual stimuli in movies, in advertisements, but little understanding of what sexuality and its dimensions truly mean. Therefore, it seems very strange to us that someone does not have sexual desire. In the next Psychology-Online article, we are going to talk about what to do if your partner is asexualwe will explain what it means, signs that can indicate that we are with someone asexual, the characteristics of an asexual person, how they experience love and how we should act.
What does it mean to be asexual?
First of all, let’s look at the meaning of asexual person. A person who is considered asexual is one who does not experience sexual attraction towards other peoplethus presenting low levels of erotic fantasies and feeling more comfortable not getting involved in sexual activities that involve other people.
It is worth mentioning that asexuality does not constitute a homogeneous group, there is no one asexuality, but rather this term that includes different and diverse experiences about sexuality.
- There are people who are asexual, but they do have the desire to establish relationships. The calls “romantic asexuals” They present a romantic attraction.
- In addition, we also found a wide variety in the attitudes that asexual people adopt towards sex. There are some people who consider themselves “sex-positive”That is, despite being asexual, they consider sex as something positive and healthy, but they have no desire to experience it.
- On the other hand, there are asexual people “sex negative” or “antisexual”, these are opposed to sex.
- Finally, we find the so-called “repelled” those asexual people who find sex unpleasant.
At this point we must add that, sometimes, asexual people do show some interest in sexual behaviors, but solitary ones, not in those that involve other people and, on many occasions, for the purpose of relaxing.
How do I know if my partner is asexual?
“I think my partner is asexual.” To know if your partner is asexual, let’s look at the characteristics of an asexual person.
Does not need sexual contact
The main sign that your partner may be asexual is that he has no asexual need in the relationship and not only that, but he also avoids these types of practices and favors others to maintain contact with you.
He has no physical attraction towards you
One of the signs of being asexual is that the asexual person will probably not show interest in those more superficial traits of you, so compliments will not be abundant in the relationship, they will be able to attribute the qualities, but not admire them.
The relationship is emotional
The relationship with an asexual person is merely emotional, so the person can feel love for another person and meet the needs in this area. The sexual area is the one that is diminished by the lack of interest and attraction. .
My partner is asexual and I am not
An asexual person may fall in love and may want to maintain a relationship. When we are faced with an asexual person, but with the desire to maintain a loving relationship, different conflicts may arise. For this it is important:
Improve communication
Asexual people in romantic relationships often feel pressured or stigmatized for not feeling sexual interest or attraction due to the social pressure on sex. It is important that as a couple you can speak openly and openly about how you feel about your intimacy, what concerns you have, discomforts. Maintaining fluid communication helps to be able to express all types of feelings that may arise in this situation.
Reinvent sex
Maybe it’s time to practice more self-exploration. Not all sex has to be coital, perhaps there are other fields that each of you can experience individually, but perhaps sharing space.
Establish the type of relationship
Studies explain that there are asexual people who accept open relationships on the condition that the link with the other person is merely sexual and they continue to maintain the emotional link with him or her. Basically, looking for someone to meet and satisfy the couple’s sexual needs.
Get informed about sexual education
We live in a hypersexualized world, but with little sexual education, we are not taught how many ways a person can experience sexuality, or what sexuality really is and how many spheres of a person’s life it involves. That is why, if you find yourself with an asexual couple, it is a good time to train in sexual education.
Go to couples therapy
A good way to move forward with the relationship being both of different sexual orientations and with similar desires (and at the same time not so similar) is to go to couples therapy. This can provide you with tools to facilitate your relationship.
In this article you will find more information about the.
Has my partner become asexual?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation, so It is not something you become, but rather it is part of your identity. as a person. When it is said that a person “has become asexual”, the term is misused, in the event that sexual desire was present and now it is no longer there, we would speak of a hypoactive sexual desire.
If the person previously had sexual desire and now no longer has it, there may be different reasons. It can be caused and respond to different factors, such asanxiety and depression, sexual abuse, stress, cultural normsdiscomfort with one’s own body, discomfort with one’s partner, grief, dysfunctions, hormonal changes, consumption of certain drugs (antidepressants), certain diseases, etc.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Beier, K. M. (2006). Biopsychosocial understanding of human sexuality. Prerequisite for diagnoses and treatment in sexual medicine. Uroloqe, 45 (8), 956-959.
- Catri, F. (2017). Narrative review of asexuality in the human species as a sexual orientation. Psychology Notes34(1), 5-18.
- Scherrer, K. S. (2008). Coming to an Asexual Identity: Negotiating Identity, Negotiating Desire. Sexualities11 (5), 621-641.