Everyone knows that there are psychological manipulators who perfectly master the techniques to confuse other people and influence their behavior. The thing is that we are not always able to detect them.
It is difficult to unmask a good manipulator; he is skilled with the words and strategies he uses. He uses the weaknesses of his victims to achieve a position of dominance and condition the behavior of others for his own benefit.
Generally, mental manipulation is exercised through the abuse of power and domination of the other person.
Definition of psychological manipulation
Mental manipulation is said to exist when an individual assumes control of the behavior and feelings of another person or group of people with psychological strategies and techniques of suggestion, seduction, persuasion…, to obtain a benefit or achieve an objective.
The situation usually leads to a deterioration in the victim’s self-esteem, their autonomy, and the conditioning of their behavior to the will of the emotional manipulator.
5 keys to identify a mental manipulator
There are a series of traits that mental manipulators tend to share:
egocentric people
They are people who always give priority to their needs, over those of others. That’s why they can treat their victims like this, because they don’t think about their needs.
Not at all empathetic
They are incapable of putting themselves in the shoes of others. In the most serious cases, they do not consider others as people, but as mere instruments that allow them to achieve their goals.
Machiavellian
They are people who score high in the trait of Machiavellianism, who easily handle intrigue, rivalry, jealousy… They have a great facility for distorting and distorting reality for their benefit.
Irresponsible and unscrupulous
The emotional manipulator does not feel remorse, since he does not consider manipulating and benefiting from the weaknesses of others to be anything reprehensible. When they detect their victim’s Achilles heel, they do not hesitate to take advantage using the most subtle tricks.
Ability to detect the weaknesses of others
They have a special ability to detect each other’s weak points. They take advantage of sensitive and kind people, since they are aware that it is easier to manipulate them.
How to neutralize your manipulation techniques
Assert your rights, respect yourself
Your fears and insecurities make you more vulnerable to manipulation. It is essential to learn to know and respect yourself, to know what you want. Being clear about your values and your line of conduct will help you avoid manipulations.
Learn to set limits without feeling guilty
In relationships, it is essential. That is, knowing how to express what our needs are and what boundaries we do not want to be crossed. Setting limits is an act of love for yourself, but also for others.
Show firmness
Behave assertively. Don’t be hesitant or the manipulator will look for a loophole to disarm you. At his insistence, you can interrupt him, make your position clear and cut off the topic where he wants to lead you. Even if it feels bad at first, you will thank yourself in the long run. Do not admit lack of respect.
Work your emotions
All of the above points require your emotional work of self-knowledge to behave according to what you feel and not feel guilty or be afraid. Learn to recognize and manage your emotions.
Cut contact with that person
If you suspect that you are being a victim of manipulation, stay away from that person. If it is not possible, due to shared work environments, family, etc., restrict their contact and limit it to what is strictly necessary. Respond with short answers to their questions, without many explanations, since if you start a conversation they will try to take you to their territory.
Don’t feel guilty or think that you are weak of character
Many times, the environment blames the victim for the manipulation, because “she has little personality,” “she is very insecure,” etc. This vision ends up affecting the self-esteem of the manipulated person. It is an unacceptable perspective, since it is the manipulator who must behave and respect others. In no case can the person subjected to abuse be responsible or co-responsible for the situation.
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