Although many of the couples to whom this happens refuse to accept it, it is quite common that at some point in the relationship this can happen. Some of the factors that may be intervening to end or weaken the passion in a relationship are mainly monotony, followed by lack of time, stress, when one or both of them neglect their physical appearance, the lack of details that could having existed when the relationship began, relationship problems, etc.
But what can you do about the lack of passion? In this Psychology-Online article: lack of passion in the couple: what to do? We are going to explain in detail the main reasons why this situation occurs, as well as give you some tips to revive the passion in the couple.
Why is there no passion in my relationship anymore?
Did you know that it is normal for a lack of passion to occur in a couple? The opposite of what many say or what one would normally think, is that the passion in a relationship gradually weakens, but why does this happen?
Lack of passion in the relationship: scientific explanation
The scientific research that has been done about the evolutionary origin of the lack of passion in a relationship tells us that biologically human beings We are not made to have a partner for life.this does not mean that we cannot do it, however, it is completely normal for passion to decrease.
At the beginning of a relationship, especially if both members of the couple are in a state of love, the passion they feel for each other can be experienced in an excessive way since the brain chemistry when we are in love changes and We secrete several types of neurotransmitters that influence this.
Once you have gone through this stage of falling in love and the relationship acquires a deeper level of commitment and becomes stronger, the passion little by little decreases. However, other types of feelings are increasing, such as intimacy and trust. Oxytocin is the hormone responsible for making this happen since it reinforces that love bond between both and at the same time causes the passion to decrease. This is not at all negative since, let’s say, it makes the relationship more stable and stronger, which is essential for it to continue for many more years. If it were only about passion and the loving bond of intimacy and closeness were becoming less and less, it would be impossible to achieve sufficient commitment for the relationship. It is important to mention that, despite this, we can do something so that while the love and trust in the couple is reinforced, we also reinforce the passion.
Losing passion in your relationship: other reasons
There are also other reasons why a lack of passion occurs in a couple, among the main ones, the following should be highlighted:
- Monotony. It often happens that the relationship becomes very monotonous and not only by doing the same things all the time, but also in the same sexual relations this can be happening, so the spark of passion gradually dies out. .
- Personal neglect. When one or both members of the relationship stop caring about their personal care and image, so they stop being sexually attracted to their partner.
- Lack of privacy. Another possible reason why this happens is that they do not have an intimate space to have sexual relations, which is why they postpone meetings more and more. For example, when you have small children and they continually sleep in their parents’ bed or you simply do not have enough privacy at home.
- Lack of time. When one or both members of the couple are busy almost all the time, whether due to work, family and/or social commitments, and do not dedicate enough time to the relationship.
What to do when the desire runs out
There are factors that influence this and many times no matter how much love and union exists in the love bond, these can intervene to leave aside the part of sexual desire towards the other. It seems like an alarming problem and it really is for couples who find themselves suffering from it, however it is necessary to mention that it is possible to correct this situation and return to it if both parties wish to do so.
Break out of monotony: games to rekindle passion
It is time for them to get out of the monotony and dare to do different things, at first it may be difficult for them since they are used to doing the same and more of the same, despite the inconveniences that this may be bringing to their sexual life, However, it is worth making an effort to change that situation. But, What other different things can they do? Some of the things they can do to get out of the monotony is, for example, start changing their plans for newer and more attractive ones. They can also surprise their partner by proposing to have sex in other different places, try new sexual positions, try new toys. and accessories, etc. Take a look at this one and let your imagination run wild. The point is that they gradually get out of that routine that has them extremely trapped.
Motivate yourself to be better and better
It often happens that before having a partner, people worry more about themselves, whether it be about their physical appearance, their health, learning new things, etc. some of them motivated to find a partner, however the day they find one and especially when the relationship has become more stable and lasting, their motivation to be better and better declines to the point of completely neglecting themselves in one or more senses. We must remember that just because we have a fairly solid and stable relationship, we should not leave ourselves aside and forget about ourselves. Our commitment must be to continue growing as people and always try to be better, to feel good and not forget aspects of ourselves such as taking care of ourselves and grooming ourselves to look attractive to our partner, among other important things that should never be neglected whether we are there or not. in a relationship.
Remember the details
Perhaps at the beginning of the relationship, the details, the celebrations of important days such as birthdays or anniversaries, were a source of emotion and brought a certain spark of novelty to the relationship. It usually happens in many couples that over time these types of details or celebrations become increasingly scarce or are given less importance than they were given at the beginning. So it is time to recover those moments again and worry about making those special dates unforgettable moments and relive the illusion of waiting for those days to arrive to be surprised. This will bring something new to the relationship and will undoubtedly help the passion that was thought lost revive again.
a little independence
It is good that you both give each other enough space to do your own things, interact with more people, do activities that you like together but also separately, so that you are not together all day at all hours. It is healthy for them to maintain a certain degree of independence since in this way it will not only help to awaken interest in their partner, but also the self-esteem of each one will increase considerably.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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