Who were you with? Why do you talk so much to that person? Again with X? You see each other a lot lately, right?
We have all felt that strange sensation at some point, a mixture of anger, fear and nerves that invade our body and that can even end up becoming something obsessive and harmful if we let it dominate us. Yes, we are talking about jealousy, a social feeling that appears when we feel that someone could take away that person we love. If you want to know more about What is jealousy in a couple, why it occurs and how to eliminate itcontinue reading this Psychology-Online article.
What is couple jealousy in psychology?
Jealousy is feelings of suspicion, distrust and fear that occur in relation to another person. When these feelings occur within a relationship, they are called couple jealousy, and they are the most common. Jealousy usually underlies feelings of insecurity, anguish, inferiority, fear, dependency, etc.
There is a false belief that jealousy is a sign of love, but nothing could be further from the truth. Jealousy is not about love, but about possessiveness and all the feelings mentioned above. Being jealous is quite common, but when we cannot control it and it interferes with our daily life causing too much suffering, it is likely that . The best to know how to overcome obsessive jealousy is to go to a professional psychologist who can study your case and give you adapted treatment. For everything else, keep reading.
Why does couple jealousy occur?
Jealousy is not exempt from a cultural component very powerful: we talk about monogamy and romantic love. From a young age we learn that we will end up finding someone who will love us as if there were no tomorrow, who will complete us and will always be by our side. Only in this way can we be happy, giving meaning to our lives and avoiding ending up alone and sad, regretting the rest of our days.
This is important to understand why they occur. At the base we have a system of expectations, values, customs, beliefs about what is right and what is not, which lead to the emergence of this feeling. We idealize the relationship, we believe that our partner can only love us, we hope that he only has eyes for us and, above all, that he is ours. The trigger for jealousy is threat perception (whether real or imaginary), a person external to the relationship who stalks and waits with the intention of taking away our most precious asset and destroying that ideal to which we clung.
The truth is that we do not feel jealous with everyone, but only with those people who we perceive as potential rivals. The conception we have of ourselves, how we see ourselves, what our self-esteem is, plays a fundamental role here. Jealousy becomes a defense mechanism to hide our insecurity and fear when we feel our fairy tale shaken because of a third person.
In the following article you will find more information about and what its causes are.
How to eliminate jealousy in a couple
Can jealousy and distrust be controlled? Can a jealous person change? Jealousy in a couple comes hand in hand with the culture of monogamy, which we have been suckling for more than 2,000 years. Thus, the fact that they arise is very common, but getting rid of them is not so easy. However, it is not impossible either. You can work on jealousy in your couple by following some tips to end jealousy before these end up deteriorating our relationship:
1. Do some introspection
Where does that jealousy come from? Why do they appear in such a situation? Realizing the origin of our jealousy not only helps us know ourselves better but also gives us tools to deal with it better.
2. Increase your self-esteem
How to avoid jealousy in a couple? To reduce jealousy in general, you must work on your self-esteem. Remember the good things you have, your capabilities, put yourself ahead sometimes, do something you want, etc. We do not fight jealousy itself, nor the person who provokes it, but rather its origin: the weakness that from the beginning allows it to appear. Here you will find some tools to.
3. Talk to your partner
How to treat jealousy in a couple? It consists of explaining how you feel, but not from the position of reproaching him for anything. Acknowledging these kinds of feelings in front of our partner is not always easy. There are others, like pride and fear, that stop us from doing it. But there is nothing wrong or shameful in accepting them and explaining them to them. On the contrary, it can help you improve your communication, that understands you and empathizes with you more, since he opens up and is more sincere with you. In this article you will find.
4. Get to know the person
No, that doesn’t mean that you stalk her (that could be even more pathological), but that you ask your partner to introduce her to you sometime. If the person who makes us jealous is someone close to your partner, or is going to be with them for a long time (a lifelong friend, a co-worker, etc.), it may be helpful for us to meet them in person. This helps us deidealize it, see that she is a flesh and blood person like us, and . Plus, you will always have one thing in common: your partner! Of course, it is not essential that you become soul friends either.
5. Visit a professional
Going to a psychologist or therapist is always beneficial, both to gain perspective on the matter and to help us carry out the previous points.
Remember that a relationship free of jealousy is a healthier relationship, and you will enjoy it much more!
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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