What is unhappiness? Unhappiness is one of the basic human emotions that is defined by the inability to feel happiness. It is related to feelings of loneliness and sadness. Unhappiness happens when a person considers that their life is not complete due to the lack of a person, a thing, or that their life is not going as they would like.
There are people who are unhappy in a more chronic way, making it tremendously difficult for them to feel good and satisfied with their life. Furthermore, unhappiness is a very common feeling that we all, to a greater or lesser extent, go through at some point. Keep reading Psychology-Online so you can see what the symptoms and causes of unhappiness are, unhappiness regarding marriage and what happens and what to do when you want to be happy and you can’t. If you are unhappy in your life and you don’t know why or what to doin this article we want to give you some answers.
Symptoms of unhappiness
There are several symptoms that are common in people who are unhappy for a long time.
- You only see the negative side despite being in a good moment in your life.
- You assume the role of victim instead of taking responsibility for situations and trying to change and improve them.
- You constantly complain about how unfair life is to you and you compare yourself to the people around you, claiming that your life is in a worse moment.
- You sabotage yourself in achieving goals or, if you achieve them, you do not enjoy them because you assume that you do not deserve them.
- You focus on worrying when things don’t go the way you would have liked, instead of trying to learn from what happened.
- You run away from your problems or you escape through alcohol, drugs or sex instead of facing them.
- You do not attend or you give little importance to self-care when it comes to healthy diet, exercise, a good rest…
- You let yourself be carried away by your emotions and your relationships are often emotionally intense and unsatisfying.
Causes of unhappiness
Why am I so unhappy in my life? Why do I feel sad if I have everything? The symptoms themselves are, in turn, causes of unhappiness. However, in addition, there are other habits that may be making you unhappy:
- Hold a grudge and live tied to problems. Forgive and see forgiveness for those who have hurt us as a Think that happiness will come later: Constantly believe that you will have happiness when you have a new job, a new house, etc. instead of focusing on being happy right now with what you have.
- The adictions They create unhappiness, whatever it may be, since a large part of your life will be reduced to satisfying said addition.
- Little social life. We are social beings by nature. Isolating ourselves and staying at home increases the chances of being unhappy.
- Inactive life. Why am I not happy with what I have? Having excessive free time causes you to enter a state of loss of energy, so later it will be much more difficult for you to start any activity. Furthermore, by having free time you think more about your problems and you lose reasons to be happy by being focused on them.
- Little coherence between your values, thoughts, feelings and actions. For example, having a job in which you perform tasks that do not agree with your principles.
- Depressive disorders. Another cause of infidelity that we must take into account is undiagnosed and untreated psychological disorders. Especially depressive disorders usually cause that feeling of emptiness, deep sadness, guilt and unhappiness. With this you will be able to see if your symptoms are compatible with those of this disorder.
Unhappy marriage
Having a toxic relationship is one of the causes of unhappiness that deserves more explanation. It is quite common to see marriages in which Communication is dry, with constant recriminations and little affection. You end up sleeping in separate rooms and spending little free time together. These are signs of an unhappy marriage. What could you do? There are 2 alternatives: improve the relationship or leave the relationship directly.
How to improve a relationship
The main problem is usually communication and lack of empathy.
- It is important to sit down talk to your partner from time to time and communicate the things we liked and those we didn’t, with politeness and respect, so that both members can feel happy in the relationship.
- Furthermore, we must get out of that state of egocentrism and keep in mind that there are two people in the couple, so it is important to keep in mind that the other also has needs. Be more generous and giving in when choosing a movie to watch, for example, are details that maintain affection.
- On the other hand, it is important Do activities that allow you to get out of the routine. Going to dinner, on a trip, among others, can be good options.
- Lastly, it is important get out of that same victim role that we mentioned before and take responsibility for the situation. Therefore, instead of continually demanding and berating your partner, try thanking them and highlighting when they are doing something you like and try to treat your partner as you would like them to. Surely, those aspects that you don’t like, given that your partner already knows what they are after having repeated them countless times, will end up disappearing on their own when your attitude has also changed.
How to end an unhappy marriage
There are times when you don’t see a way out of the situation, so a possible solution would be to go to couples therapy so that a professional can guide you and give you strategies to solve your relationship problems.
There are also times when you don’t want to continue with the relationship, although it is difficult for you to take the step. Why can’t I leave my partner if I’m not happy? If your case is that you are not happy in your marriage and you want to leave it but you can’t, it may be because.
How to overcome unhappiness
What to do if I want to be happy and I can’t? Surely when reading the article you have thought: “that doesn’t work for me”, “I can’t be happy”, “my life is too bad to be happy”. You are waiting to be happy suddenly, as if it were a gift from heaven. However, you are making excuses for yourself. Being happy is a choice that is made the moment we decide to see the positive side in our daily lives.in which we are grateful for everything we have and that we do not focus on everything we lack.
That is, you can be happy the moment you let that happiness depend on you, on causes internal to you, and not on external aspects that you cannot control.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Wilkinson, R., & Pickett, K. (2009). An analysis of collective (in)happiness. Madrid: Turner.