“I’m married but I feel alone.” Does this phrase sound familiar to you? If lately you feel that in your marriage you are drifting apart and that you are barely spending quality moments together, it is normal for you to feel alone. Many times, routine, stress and habit can cause that spark of love in marriage to fade and, in the end, you do not feel that you share life with your partner but that you simply live with a roommate. At Psychology-Online we are going to help you so that you can solve this situation and that you solve the problems you may have with your partner. Keep in mind that speaking people understand each other and, therefore, it is essential that you express yourself and communicate so that, together, you can regain the passion and love that has united you.
Why am I in a relationship and feel alone?
If you find yourself in the situation where you are married but feel alone, you have to know that there are some very common causes that cause these problems in marriage. Normally, this usually happens when the relationship settles down and the two members begin to live their lives at a certain distance.
Here we leave you a list with the most frequent reasons that you feel alone in your marriage. It is important to detect what the origin of the problem may be in order to choose the most convenient solution.
Your husband is no longer the same
If there is one thing that is clear, it is that, throughout our lives, It is normal to evolve. It may be that new interests arise, that we meet other people who discover a new world for us, that there is some situation that makes us change our thoughts or philosophy, etc. Therefore, it is possible that your partner has experienced some of these changes and that, now, you do not feel as close or close to you. In these cases, the interesting thing is not that you reject this new version of yourself but that you do just the opposite: that you are interested in his new ambitions and that you are also part of them.
It is you who has changed
The opposite situation can also occur, that is, you are the one who has changed over the years. In these cases, the most advisable thing is not to separate your partner from your new “you” but to include him in your new life, to make him participate in your new interests and, thus, together you can continue to grow and evolve.
The routine is defeating you
Another reason why you are married but feel alone is that no longer strive as before. It may be that, now, you are more settled in routine and comfort and, therefore, you have “abandoned” yourself slightly. This situation can make you feel that you are no longer special to your partner and that he never feels like doing things with you, so it is essential to try and love so that the routine does not hurt you too much.
Overwork or obligations
And finally, another of the most common cases that can make you feel alone in your marriage is that your partner live in a stressful work environment which consumes a lot of time. In fact, this has traditionally been the most common cause of failures in marriage and that stress at work can end up separating the couple a lot and causing the relationship to end up being consumed. If this is the situation you find yourself in, we recommend that you talk to your partner so they can see where you are. Surely you can reach an agreement that achieves balance your work life with your personal life.
What do I do if I feel empty in my marriage? 5 tips
Whatever the cause of your feeling of loneliness, it is important that you begin to find the solution that your marriage needs. It is essential that you do not let much more time pass because, if so, in the end you may become more and more distant and, in the end, love will end up disappearing. Therefore, resolve this situation as soon as possible and establish the path to follow with your partners.
Here we will give you 5 tips so you know what to do if you are married but feel alone:
1. Talk to your partner
It is clear that if you have a problem in your marriage you have to talk about it with your partner. It is likely that if he is very involved in his work or his obligations, he has not even realized that you are lonely. And you shouldn’t be angry about it. It is essential that we do not argue, we should not take anything for granted or expect our partner to know everything about us. Therefore, talk to him and explain how you feel, so you can discuss the solution between the two of you.
2. Moments of intimacy
You may feel lonely because, lately, you haven’t had romantic moments or moments just for yourselves. Many times, on weekends we can meet up with family and friends and always be surrounded by children, and this can cause the relationship to become distant and, deep down, we miss each other. Therefore, a good way to be able to regain that union is to take a moment just for yourselves: plan a romantic dinner, go on a rural weekend, book a night in a hotel and recover your passion… whatever but together and alone!
3. Resolve the conflicts that have distanced you
It could also be that your relationship is going through a bad time. They exist but getting out of them depends on the effort and will of both of us. Therefore, we recommend that you sit down to talk and resolve the problems that are separating you. Speak calmly, slowly and with a decisive will. The objective is not to argue or throw things in your face but rather toWhat we are looking for is to solve this situation and be well again.
4. Ask yourself: are you still in love?
It may be that you have been feeling alone for a long time and that, right now, you don’t feel the same way about your partner. In these cases it is important that you be honest and assess whether you still want to continue fighting for your relationship or if, on the contrary, you prefer to give it some time and see what happens. There is no need to continue with a relationship that you no longer believe in, so, in this case, it is best to put a little distance and see if it was a blip or if, really, there is nothing between you anymore.
5. Go to therapy
If you don’t want to throw in the towel but don’t know how to approach this situation, we recommend that you leave it in the hands of a professional. There are many therapists specialized in resolving couples’ conflicts who can give you the keys and techniques to improve your relationship and get it back on track. But, obviously, for this to bear fruit it is essential that you are both willing to work and make an effort for yourselves. Only then will it make sense to go to therapy.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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