It is likely that in our daily lives we experience unforeseen events that alter our daily lives. These unforeseen events do not usually go along well with rigidity because, while the former arise from spontaneity and surprises, rigidity proposes that actions be in a certain way without the possibility of making changes. Although we can see this fact on various occasions, not all people adapt to it.
When we are in contact with someone who is not willing to change and see things in a different way than how they were presented, problems may arise in the personal bond. Therefore, in this Psychology-Online article, we will provide you with information about how to treat a perfectionist.
Set realistic goals
In general terms, the perfectionist person will seek to ensure that the objectives they set are completed in an ideal way. However, there will always be something missing or errors can occur through no fault of their own that can lead to frustration.
For this reason, set realistic goals that are achievable in a short period of time will reduce the demands of a person who seeks perfection in any area of life.
Set clear boundaries
Perfectionist people tend to be very demanding of others because they consider that the environment must meet certain requirements. This fact can be difficult to cope with if you do not establish clear and concrete limits that prevent the person from taking advantage of the situation and obtaining personal benefit.
For this reason, it is essential to make clear the limits in our personal relationships that cannot be crossed. In the following article you will find.
Assume that perfection does not exist and talk about it
Sometimes, a person doesn’t know that they act or think in a certain way until someone makes a comment about it. In this way, when the perfectionist person assumes that the goals you want to achieve are impossiblethere is a high chance that you can change your behavior over time.
However, it is important to keep in mind that the willingness to change will depend on each person. In the following article you will find seven.
Relativize situations
Experiences throughout a person’s life can gradually make them realize that their expectations will not always be met. However, perfectionist people experience these situations with a great deal of frustration because they consider that they have failed.
For this reason, when these moments occur with someone who is a perfectionist, a good way to help them will be try to downplay what has happened to relieve your frustration
Suggest going to therapy
Suggesting the perfectionist to start psychological treatment can be of great help to resolve internal conflicts that provoke the constant search for perfection.
On the other hand, when discussing the benefits that therapy can provide, it is possible that the person decides to rethink their way of thinking, feeling and acting in daily life.
Show you the price of perfection
It is important that the perfectionist person understands that their way of seeing life requires effort that can be very exhausting. On the one hand, he demands a considerable expenditure of energy to meet his own expectations. On the other hand, perfection gives rise to constant frustration due to not being able to achieve everything a person sets out to achieve.
Given this, show the cost of perfection It can be one of the best tools to help a perfectionist.
Accompany despite mistakes
As we have mentioned previously, rigidity does not go well with unforeseen events, since some error can always occur during the process. However, many people are not able to understand this aspect and feel vulnerable to their failures.
In these cases, starting from the fact that perfectionist people have a great fear of rejection, it is essential that the perfectionist person understands that He is not inferior to others for making mistakes.
Change vocabulary
We should not try to do things perfectly, since perfection does not exist. In this sense, it is preferable to emphasize the fact that the objectives must try to be achieved in the best possible way with the tools and resources that we have at our disposal.
For all these reasons, another good way to treat a perfectionist is to suggest that you modify the word “perfect” to “good” in his speech or thought.
Differentiate the ideal from the possible
In relation to the previous point, it is not always possible to meet ideals. For this reason, differentiating the ideal from the possible is a tool that can help the perfectionist understand that there are goals that are unattainable. This approach allows us to establish new goals that can be achieved.
If you want to know more about this topic, in the following article you will find more information about .
Get away from other people’s desires
Although the perfectionist person seeks to meet all their demands, this does not mean that everything one wants must be carried out. For this reason, get away from the desires and demands of others It is a good way to reduce negative thoughts and get away from it.
Likewise, it is essential that the person understands that said perfection is their own quality but that it should not be transferred to people in their immediate environment.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to treat a perfectionistwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- De Rosa, L., Valle, A., Rutsztein, G., Keegan, E. (2012). Perfectionism and Self-Criticism: Clinical Considerations. Argentine Journal of Psychological Clinic, 21 (3), 209-215.