Children take their parents as an example for how to act and speak, although many parents do not realize that they are constantly watching them. The way you talk to them shows them the way you want them to talk to you and will greatly determine whether they will listen to you and how they will respond to what you say.
Additionally, some indicate that conversations between adults and children not only improve the latter’s vocabulary but also provide a rich context for their social and emotional development.
Talking to children, therefore, matters a lot. Parents should worry about improving their communication skills. Experts recommend:
When your child talks to you, give him/her your full attention
It’s frustrating to talk to someone who is watching TV or checking their phone, isn’t it? This is how your children feel if they have to compete for your attention. Learn to stop what you are doing and listen to them if they come looking for you to share thoughts, fears and worries.
If you really can’t speak at that moment, don’t pretend you’re listening. It is much better to promise them that you are going to give them a time where you can give them all the attention in the world and follow through. They will open up when they see that you are genuinely interested in their lives.
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Moderate your response
Nobody likes to talk to a person who is angry and yells at you. Children are no exception. They are likely to stop listening and walk away if you seem defensive or angry, so learn to soften your responses. You must also control your impulse to argue about who is right. Instead, communicate your position on an issue firmly and calmly. This gives the impression that you are in control and your children will listen to you. It is also good that you acquire the habit of recognizing your children’s efforts and using them to help them improve.
Acknowledge your feelings
When talking to children, allow them to express their feelings and opinions even when they are difficult to hear. Asking them to suppress their feelings or, worse yet, denying them, can have an adverse effect on their emotional development. You don’t need to talk much, simply calming them down and providing a safe space to let out their negative feelings is usually enough for them. If they require you to give them an answer, try to avoid judgments and criticism. No matter how trivial your children’s problems may seem to you, they are real to them and must be addressed.
Choose an opportune time to speak
Talking to your children is much easier when you do it at a time when both of you can pay attention to what the other is saying. Trying to talk to your child when he/she is having a tantrum or is upset about something is a waste of time. Similarly, talking to all your children at the same time may not be effective, since older children may speak for younger children. The solution is to schedule one-on-one time with each of them weekly, so you can talk to each one according to their level.
Address difficult topics head-on
Talk to your children about , him and other difficult topics. You may think that they are too young to understand, but kids today are more exposed than parents think. A good approach is to ask them what they know about these topics and go from there, clearing up misunderstandings and giving them more information in the process. When they are older you can talk about other issues like the, the or the. Even if they are uncomfortable conversations, they may save your children’s lives one day.
Conversations should be age-appropriate.
When you start talking about difficult topics with kids, make sure the conversation is age-appropriate. It is not necessary to give children a lot of information about issues such as death, as it may alarm them. Your answers should be short, simple, and concise if you are addressing young children, as long, drawn-out conversations could be confusing and boring for them. Older siblings, however, require deeper conversations where they can learn and ask questions, so you can give each other more information there.
The ability to communicate effectively with our children is important because it plays a central role in having a healthy relationship with them, which will be the basis for the rest of their relationships.
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