There are adjectives that we do not like to recognize. However, anyone can be selfish and envious at some point in their life or on a recurring basis. In this situation, it is positive to educate character to put a stop to those behaviors that lead to individualism and that naturally damage personal relationships. How to stop being envious and selfish? In this Psychology-Online article, we give you the keys to handle this situation that makes you and others suffer.
5 tips to stop being an envious person
- It is very possible that your envy does not surface in any situation and with any person. For this reason, try Identify which person in your environment you envy on a recurring basis. The jealousy of envy always occurs within the closest environment of the reference links.
- Recognize that you feel envy. It is one of those feelings that is censored and, therefore, repressed. However, you gain emotional strength when you sincerely recognize what you feel not only in the privacy of your conscience, but also before another person. You can talk to a friend about how you feel. It is very possible that in this conversation you will be able to overcome the feeling of discomfort.
- The lack of logic of envy. When you envy another person, you draw a comparison between your own life and theirs. You feel that her happiness is a threat to your own well-being because what the other person possesses reminds you of a lack of your own. However, this comparison is born from a cognitive distortion, since you establish conclusions from the other’s life from a filter distorted by your own envy. For example, when you envy a friend’s professional success, you focus only on that social brilliance that he has experienced. However, you don’t put yourself in his shoes when you think about the hours of effort, work, dedication and perseverance that person will have invested to get to that point.
- Celebrate the joys of others. The best therapy to transform sadness for the good of others is to adopt the optimistic attitude of celebrating the illusions of good news from close friends and family as if they were your own. At least, you can try. Think that, by being a participant in the joys of others, in a way, you are also the protagonist of that good energy. And while envy takes you away from a happy state of mind, this attitude brings you closer to the goal of social intelligence.
- Learn to be happy with what you have. Envy begins to disappear when you really adopt this life philosophy of understanding that each person has their own path. You will always be unhappy if you live your own story envying what others have. To avoid being an envious person, start by cultivating your own joy from your own current resources. You can consult the advice in the article
5 tips to stop being selfish
Here are some good ones tips what you can put into practice to be less selfish:
- Dedicate time to others. One of the first symptoms of selfishness manifests itself in time control. For example, a selfish person finds it difficult to compromise on plans with others. However, just as sometimes your friends give in to accompany you on a plan that excites you, you can do the same because the key to relationships is equity and reciprocity.
- Experience the happiness of generosity. Break the dynamics of this behavior through experiential and educational experience. For example, notice how good you feel when you become aware that through your actions or your company, you have brought joy to another person’s life. While selfishness leads you to the laziness of inactivity in the face of these positive initiatives, the very memory of practical experience reaffirms you in the idea that selfishness is suffering and generosity is freedom.
- Share your knowledge. Egoism is also born on this level of reality, as shown by the example of those people who want to stand out from others and, therefore, avoid sharing what they know with others. Break this trend and seek continuous collaboration in the two spheres of your life. For example, work as a team in the office, write a constructive comment on a blog that addresses a topic you know, offer your sincere advice to someone who has asked you for it, etc.
- Listen to the dissatisfaction that your selfish behavior produces in other people. If this attitude is constant in your way of being, your friends and close environment They will show you their reproaches and disappointment because of how this fact makes them suffer. You not only know yourself by what you think about yourself, but also by the image you project on others. Therefore, try to reflect on the ones you receive to understand that love and selfishness are not very compatible in emotional ties.
- As a human being you are social by nature. Therefore, otherness is a mirror of humanism. When you settle into selfishness you are turning your back on your true essence. Many of the happiest moments in life are those you experience in the company of other people, which is more than enough reason to avoid this attitude.
How to stop being envious and selfish? Becoming aware of the suffering that this fact generates in you and training your social skills to find the balance of having your own space but also maintaining contact with others.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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