Arguments are part of love and relationships, however, the risk of these differences of opinion is that they can become emotional walls that produce distancing when they are not accompanied by reconciliation. Arguments are not negative in general, in fact, in these moments you also know reactions from yourself that you do not experience in routine moments and you discover your partner from this perspective.
How to reconcile with your partner after a fight? At Psychology-Online, we give you the keys to solve these conflicts by strengthening the relationship based on what happened.
These tips can help you better manage the situation.
1. Take a break
A gesture of emotional intelligence in discussions is knowing how to stop the conversation when the dialogue takes on an unconstructive tone or both parties enter a loop of repeated ideas. Through this pause, you can disconnect from negativity of the situation to reinterpret it from a more rational point of view. That doesn’t mean you have to take several days to reflect. In most cases, it is enough to distract your attention from the topic for a while. You can go out for a walk and run some errands.
2. Take the initiative in reconciliation
If the reason you don’t approach your partner is because you expect him/her to make the first move, then put aside this type of excuse and take the initiative to meet. You can apologize if you think you have made a mistake in something, for example, in the way you expressed an idea or in some words that you would have preferred not to say. It is very possible that by fostering this climate of trust and rectification, your partner will also take advantage of the opportunity to do the same.
This is a time to prioritize what is important over what is secondary in the relationship.
3. The power of a hug
Language transcends words. At a time when you may not know very well what to say to facilitate this approach if pride weighs on you, a gesture as simple but therapeutic as a hug can help you connect with your partner in a intimacy bond. Hugs reduce distances, release the chain of ego and promote the search for the common good.
4. Conflict resolution protocol
Can negotiate with your partner some basic principles of action in a conflict situation so that between you both you can manage this type of situation based on principles that you yourselves have established. If you both collaborate in the application of this practical guide, it is very possible that you will internalize it through experience.
5. Improve your attitude
A common mistake in a couple’s argument is that each person places a critical eye on the other’s behavior. However, to promote reconciliation, it is recommended that each person increase introspection to gain assertiveness. For example, increase your level of active listening to pay attention without judging what your partner tells you even if it breaks your own criteria.
To improve your attitude, avoid adopting the “I’m right, you’re wrong” mindset. There is no single reality around the subject of the discussion. Both points of view are complementary. Therefore, if you really want to know other people’s reality, you have to listen.