Emotional detachment frees us from unconscious emotional burdens and allows us to walk more lightly and in accordance with our true human nature. Practicing emotional detachment with respect to many aspects that are offered to us in this world is essential to break the chains that tie us to unhealthy functionings for us.
In the next chapter of Psychology-Online, we will talk about how to practice emotional detachment exposing 5 techniques that will allow us to free ourselves from this unconscious mechanism that ties us to needs that are not real for human beings.
What is emotional detachment
It is the vital need of the human being to merge with his caregiver to obtain the feeling of security and warmth that he needs and, thanks to which, he will be able to give the best of himself to the world in his adulthood in union with his neighbors.
In today’s societies there are many aspects that should be addressed and modified in depth to build healthier and more balanced communities. However, we find ourselves immersed in social functionings that deprive us of having properly cared for childhoodsthe main basis for building a and, therefore, emotional balance.
Subsequently, to cover the deficiencies generated in these early stages of life, we are offered all kinds of “sweets” with the intention of covering, apparently, the unsatisfied primal need for attachment.
So what is detachment? Given the lack of a secure attachment during childhood, we spend our lives trying fill this emotional void looking for all kinds of elements that allow us to cover this original human need to feel cared for and cared for. From there, we become attached to people and all kinds of objects (houses, cars, money, work, etc.) with the false belief that our inner restlessness will finally be covered.
Emotional detachment involves release from all these false attachments and it happens when we become aware of the falsity of their real contribution to our lives and the pain and continued frustration that continuing to be hooked on them generates.
Become aware
How to achieve emotional detachment? To begin the process of detachment, it will be necessary that, first of all, we become aware of what elements of our life are to which we are attached. To detect these elements, it is enough to look at those elements, people or actions that we need to possesscontact or perform quite compulsively as a means to calm our inner restlessness.
In reality, attachment does not refer only to people and objects, as is generally understood, but rather all types of attachments are reflections of attachments to which we have become attached as a way of covering unmet basic needs.
Work on the detachment process
Surely we will have several attachments but it will be impossible for us to detach ourselves from all of them at once. Thus, another of the techniques to work on emotional detachment is choose one of our attachments to work on the process of emotional detachment.
In this way, once we have detected in a list all those things to which we are attached, we will choose one of them to begin the process of emotional detachment with it. Once we manage to free ourselves from this first element, we will consecutively address the following ones, thanks to the inner strengthening achieved by the greater degree of real freedom that the liberation of all these attachments will progressively bring us.
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Analyze the internal process that produces attachment
If you are wondering how to work on emotional detachment, once you have chosen one of the first attachments, you must analyze what are the guidelines that we internally listen to and follow to end up attached to this element, that is, what thoughts and actions lead us to it.
Once we have visualized and understood the internal process that leads us to remain attached, we will be ready to reject it. The simplest and most direct way to reject and paralyze this internal process is perform the opposite action to what our thoughts indicate internally in this situation.
This rejection process is the hardest battle to deal with, since with each attempt to stop this unconscious automatic process, the original discomfort that we felt in our childhood will occur inside us, which, in reality, is still there but is “covered” by the attachments that we use. So to counteract it, this is one of the emotional detachment techniques.
Find healthy alternatives to attachments
Once the process of emotional detachment has begun, we must, even if it is very painful, not to flee from the discomfort we feel which, in reality, is what we have been doing until now. This “no flight” will allow us to remain stronger and will reduce the force of this discomfort.
Once this process is done, other emotional detachment techniques that can be put into practice consist of looking for healthy alternatives to heal our wounds. To do this you must follow the following process:
- Evaluate the pain we feel.
- Identify its origin.
- Become aware of both things.
- Look for healthy solutions that effectively cover and heal this wound.
Once the first attachment has been addressed, we can carry out the same process with the following elements detected. It is a complicated process that dealing with fears and insecurities and with defense mechanisms very strongly rooted within us. For this reason, we recommend carry out this process of emotional detachment accompanied by a professional skilled.
Guided meditation for emotional detachment
Another technique to practice emotional detachment is meditation. There are many ways to practice it, and they are very different from each other. So, if you don’t know how to start meditate to work on emotional detachmentIt is best to find someone to teach you. Therefore, guided meditation is a very good option to achieve this.
Discover different ones and, if you want to know more, in this article, we will tell you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Barón, MO, Zapiain, JG, & Apodaca, P. (2002). Attachment and emotional-sexual satisfaction in the couple. Psychothema, 469-475.
- Delgado, AO, & Oliva Delgado, A. (2004). Current status of attachment theory. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Psychology, 4(1), 65-81.