Abuse in a relationship has significant consequences for our mental health. Psychological abuse is, most likely, one of the types of abuse that leaves the greatest mark. Its consequences are difficult to treat since we only see the tip of the iceberg; the psychological processes that a victim of psychological abuse goes through are numerous and notably unpleasant.
Sometimes, if we do not treat this type of abuse in time, we can carry its consequences throughout our lives, especially if they have occurred for a long time. Low self-esteem, distrust in others and social anxiety are just a few repercussions that can lead to abuse. However, it is possible to overcome it and get out of it. In this Psychology-Online article, we will provide guidelines and information to know how to overcome psychological abuse from your partner.
Abuse in the couple
There are many within a relationship: physical, psychological, social, economic abuse… all of them consist of the use of aggressiveness (active or passive) to coerce and impose power on the other person. Typically, such abuse is called gender violence. This is because, in most cases, the victim is a woman and is abused solely for being one.
We can define psychological abuse as those behaviors that aim to attack the mental stability of the victim. Shouting, insults, threats, and humiliation in public or private are just some of the clearest examples of psychological abuse. Knowing how to recognize it is the first step to get out of that situation, for this we have signs that can help us know, such as hostile attitudes, verbal attacks… and there are even questions that can help us detect an abuserthese can be the following:
- Do you have a tendency to control your friendships?
- Watch your way of dressing?
- Does he always get upset if you don’t do what he or she wants?
- Control your money?
- Does it tell you that you are crazy and make you feel bad?
- Does he ridicule your work or your studies?
- Does he laugh at your physical appearance?
- Does he threaten to commit suicide or harm himself if you end the relationship?
- Does he blackmail you into having sex?
- Does he threaten to hurt you?
and above all…
If some of these questions have resonated in our heads, it is time to consider how to overcome psychological abuse from your partner. Once the attitudes are detected, it is time to point them out and think about getting out of that abusive relationship.
How to stop a psychological abuser
Many times, the abuser does not realize his actions (or does not want to realize them) and it is necessary to stop him to prevent the violence from escalating. Facing someone who is aggressive is not an easy task and, in some cases, the most advisable thing is to flee from that situation to dedicate yourself to working on mental stability and strengthening our ability to overcome such traumatic situations, that is, .
The most important thing to defend yourself from abuse is to keep your distance and work with emotional defense techniques to prevent us from being affected by everything he has to tell us. It is advisable to get out of that abusive relationship, but it is not always that easy. The aggressor often uses coercion and threats to prevent us from leaving him or her. However, it is necessary to act quickly to prevent its abuse from continuing to take its toll on our mental health.
If the threats escalate and the abuse does not stop, there is also the legal way to confront the psychological abuser.
Steps to overcome psychological abuse
After leaving the abusive relationship, the next step is to overcome its consequences, to do this we can count on different psychological techniques focused on and recovering mental stability.
The first step we must take is accept that we have been mistreated. If we continue denying it, if we do not want to see reality, it will be very difficult for us to overcome it. Doing so is very hard, but as long as we continue to consider the behavior of those who psychologically abuse us to be acceptable, we will not be able to overcome it correctly.
Next we must change our way of seeing the situation. People who have suffered psychological abuse feel guilty and responsible for it, they also tend to think that what happens to them is their fault. We must learn to see what part of the responsibility the other person has in her behavior, not only to blame her, but to free us from responsibility for it.
Finally, it is convenient seek help from a professional group and specialized in abuse. The best thing, if we have the possibility, is to join a self-help group of people who have suffered psychological abuse, who will also provide us with access to professionals specialized in abuse. With this, we can learn to recognize abusive behaviors and techniques to deal with them. The emotional support of someone who has already been through it is very healing from an emotional point of view.
Throughout the process of improvement, we must begin to love ourselves, develop our mental health and accept our experiences. If we can learn anything from a situation of abuse, it is to become stronger. Mental and emotional strengths play a very important role in this path out of an abusive situation.
Sequelae of psychological abuse
The consequences of psychological abuse depend on each person and situation. There are variables such as the severity of the abuse or its duration that influence the depth of the mental wounds. However, in general, the consequences are as follows:
- Generalized anxiety: Victims of psychological violence have learned to be constantly alert for everything; anxiety is usually a characteristic that lasts after leaving the abusive relationship.
- Low self-esteem: Listening day after day to insults and humiliation from our partner (someone we initially appreciated and valued) ends up affecting the image we have of ourselves and, as a consequence, lowers our self-esteem.
- Addictions: When we do not find any solution to our situation, sometimes we look for other escape routes. Alcoholism in battered women is an example of cognitive sequelae after a situation of psychological abuse.
- Concentration and memory problems: The consequences of abuse can be so profound that they affect attention and memory processes. This is because our mind needs to disconnect to avoid experiencing psychological violence over and over again through memories and trauma.
- Another fear learned during the abuse situation is the fear of relating to others. If for a certain time we have lived with terror towards our partner, it is likely that this fear will be transferred to the other spheres of our life.
There are not only cognitive consequences, psychological violence can also produce physical injuries such as tachycardia, spasms, respiratory problems, sexual dysfunction and gastrointestinal disorders.
There is life after psychological abuse
Moving forward after abuse is not easy. However, with time and appropriate therapy, we can appreciate that there is life after abuse. The goal of knowing how to overcome psychological abuse from your partner It is, above all, learning to live happily and free of mental pressures.
Finally, it is worth mentioning that both the abuse and the abuser himself must be reported and prosecuted. These types of actions are intolerable and go against human rights themselves. If the abuser is not punished or his attitudes pointed out, he will probably attack another victim again.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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