Emotional dependence on your partner, contrary to what is often thought, is not always negative. Human beings, by nature, need to bond emotionally with another person as a survival mechanism. The first person with whom you develop this bond of emotional dependence is the caregiver you have had since birth, normally the father, the mother or both. When we are adults, we look for that emotional bond in a relationship and depending on how healthy the bond with our attachment figures was in childhood, it will be the one we have with our partner in adulthood. But how do you know when this emotional dependence on your partner is negative? Can I overcome emotional dependence and continue by his side?
In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to let you know to what extent emotional dependence on another person is healthy and finally we will give you some advice so that you can know How to overcome emotional dependence on your partner.
How to overcome emotional dependence? To begin you need to know what healthy emotional dependence is like that you can feel towards your partner and that it should not cause you any type of concern, for this we will briefly explain to you what are the characteristics that a person with this type of dependency has:
- People with healthy emotional dependence want bond closely and intimately with others, however they are not too sensitive to rejection and abandonment.
- They know enjoy a relationship as a couple without worrying all the time if they will be abandoned, betrayed or rejected.
- They seek not only their well-being or that of their partner, but also that both are comfortable and satisfied within the relationship.
- They know express your needsdesires and feelings to the other person without having to submit to repression and they never negotiate intimacy with the other, it is simply taken for granted.
- Another characteristic of people with a healthy emotional dependence is that despite feeling dependent on their partner and knowing that their partner is also dependent on them, they feel free to developto enjoy life and act in accordance with their personal values without having to feel sacrificed at any time.
To know when emotional dependence on your partner goes from being healthy to negative or pathological, it is necessary to detect some symptoms that make it evident. Between the main symptoms of a person who is experiencing this type of dependency, the following are found:
- Live constantly worried that your partner is going to abandon you, betray you or reject you.
- Invest most of your day in thoughts related to your relationship. the fear What causes you is that it could end at some point, even if everything seems to be going well.
- Feeling uneasy when you are away from your partner.
- Leaving aside your family and friends to be only with your partner.
- Allow your happiness to depend solely and exclusively on your relationship.
- want to be all the time with your partner and don’t give them their space or give it to yourself either.
- Thinking that if your partner leaves you Your life would have no meaning.
- When your emotional state depends on how your partner behaves with you. So if sometimes he behaves indifferent, other times affectionate, other times bad, etc. you live with constants emotional ups and downs.
- You don’t let your partner see his family and/or friends, You just want me to be with you.
- You put aside your personal goals and interests to please them or simply to have more time with that person.
It is very important to know that if you have experienced these symptoms you should eliminate emotional dependency, for the good of the couple and the emotional stability of both. Below we explain how to overcome emotional dependence with your partner.
How to stop being emotionally dependent? Once we have detected that we have a strong emotional dependence, it is normal for you to ask us about the treatment of emotional dependence or its solutions. Well, it’s time to get tools and solutions to know how to overcome emotional dependence with your partner.
Below, we show you 4 keys to overcome emotional dependence after a breakup, from your ex-partner or your current partner.
1. Recognize that you have a problem
The first step to begin to heal is to recognize that we have a problem. Therefore, it is necessary that you identify and accept that, if it is, the type of emotional dependence you have on your partner is negative and is harmful to you and your relationship.
In this article we explain to you.
2. Identify how emotional dependence is harming you
Reflect on the way in which being negatively dependent on your partner is harming yourself. Also reflect on how it is damaging your relationship. You have to be totally aware, not only that you are dependent but how being dependent has affected you and may increasingly affect you in your personal life and in all your relationships.
Being aware will give you enough motivation so you can start a change.
3. Work on increasing your self-esteem
People who are dependent on others in a negative way usually act this way because they have not learned to love themselves enough and give themselves the value they deserve. All people must feel loved, respected and valued for ourselves because only in this way will another person be able to do the same with us.
A person with high self-esteem is unlikely to develop a pathological emotional dependence on another. So if you would like to work for , one of the ways you can achieve this is to go with a professional to guide you and help you achieve it.
4. Take time for yourself
Invest time in your goals, hobbies and favorite pastimes. It is necessaryo prioritize spending time with yourself and not leave aside what you are passionate about since it is another of the things that give meaning to our lives. By doing so you will learn to be alone but above all to enjoy it and not feel helpless or anxious about not meeting your partner.
On the other hand, if you are not sure if you are emotionally dependent on your partner, we recommend doing this. The questions will help you reflect on the relationship and your behavior.