Going through a breakup is one of the most difficult processes in a person’s life. A breakup is similar to the death of a loved one since, although in the first the person does not die, it is also a loss where the person who is left has to live through painful grief to finally overcome that situation for which no one would like to go through. But why is it so painful to go through a breakup?
In this Psychology-Online article: how to move forward after a breakupwe are going to give you a series of tips so that you can undoubtedly achieve this and also increase your emotional well-being.
Accept the breakup
Pain is something relative, each person experiences it differently, with more or less intensity and the main reasons why it is so painful are the following: the breakup was probably not expected to happen, you lose not only your partner but also a friend, a support and a confidant, they already had life plans and objectives in common, they enjoyed being with that person whom they saw very often or daily, among many other things that make the process of overcoming painful and sometimes even becomes very complicated.
It is essential that don’t try to resist the pain that the loss of the person you loved has left you. As we saw previously, it is a loss, since although that person did not die, they are probably gone from your life forever. Accepting this situation is very difficult and at first you may experience emotions such as anger, frustration, anger, resentment, among other normal emotions, but if not managed well, over time they can become quite destructive. On the other hand, when we accept the situation and the fact that that person has left our lives, the sadness and deep pain that the loss has left us comes, which is not easy to deal with, especially when we are not there. used to. So the best thing to do is let it be, live it and not try to avoid it. So it is highly recommended to express that pain and get it out little by little. To do this, you should not avoid crying, writing, screaming in pain, etc. which will help to gradually alleviate the suffering and eventually overcome it.
How to get over a breakup step by step
After having gone through one of the most difficult stages, which is accepting the breakup. To know, you need to follow the following tips:
Recover your personal goals
Surely during your relationship with that person, you have established a series of goals as a couple, whether you have made plans to get married, have children, start your own business, buy a house, among many other things. So perhaps you have totally or partially left aside the objectives that you already had individually to focus only on those that you had in common. It is important, so that you can once again find greater meaning in your life and in everything you do, that you recover again those objectives that at some point you forgot or simply left aside. Remember that in these objectives you will once again find enough motivation to carry out your plans, to enjoy the activities that you previously enjoyed, to also feel successful by achieving everything you set out to do and also achieve that life that you wanted so much. The fact that you feel fulfilled as a person will considerably increase your emotional well-being and will allow you to feel better about yourself and also have a better relationship with others.
Take your time
Don’t expect to feel good overnight. Remember that you are going through an inevitably painful process and you have to learn to be patient with it. To move forward after a breakup, you should know that it is normal that, at times, you may feel in a better mood and then relapse and feel very sad, so do not feel strange or weaker if this happens to you. since it is not about weakness. Pain as well as joy are basic emotions that all people will experience throughout our lives, without one the other could not exist and both have their positive side although sometimes it may not seem that way.
So if you can take a few days to rest, let off steam and regain strength, do it because afterwards you will feel much better, more renewed. The important thing is that you respect your time and give yourself space for reflection and the recovery necessary to face your own grieving process.
Surround yourself with your loved ones
It is normal that at first, especially the first few days, some people prefer to give themselves time and space alone to reflect and vent. However, you need to know that the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself from others and stay locked up. Remember that you are going through a painful and difficult process in which you are surely experiencing feelings of loneliness and abandonment, so the worst thing you can do is stay really alone. Even if it costs you at first, you have to seek the support and company of the people who love you most. Call your friends and tell them about what happened to you, also let your family know.
Make an agreement with them to visit you or you visit them, start planning an outing to distract yourself, the fact is that now more than ever you maintain close contact with everyone. Another thing you can do after a while is start meeting and interacting with new people, attend workshops, social groups that have the same interests as you, among other things that help you expand your social circle more and more.
What to do after a breakup
Do not allow the sadness and despair They end up affecting you so much that you stop caring about yourself. It is very important that you do not neglect yourself, that you continue to take care of your health either through a balanced diet, physical exercise… just as it is also important that you maintain a good physical appearance in which apart from having your basic needs such as washing yourself, changing clothes or brushing your teeth are met. You should worry and above all take care of dressing appropriately according to your personal tastes.
Just because you are no longer with that person, don’t forget to look good and feel good. Self-esteem is not something that has to do with the clothes you wear or how good you look since it is an internal aspect, however, grooming yourself and looking the way you like will help you a lot to enhance your well-being. interior, not because of what others think, but because of yourself.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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