What are emotions? Emotions are biological reactions to stimuli. They are there to promote our body’s response to various situations and help the survival of the species. Each one plays a role (anger activates us, fear paralyzes us or makes us flee, love calms us and makes coexistence easier…).
The problem arises when the emotions we feel are disproportionate to the stimulus and, therefore, harm us. What can we do then?
Marian Rojas Estapé, psychiatrist, author and lecturer, focuses her studies on the union of the mind and body to understand human behavior and diseases. She considers good management of emotions key to being happy and she reminds us that “We cannot see the body or its symptoms without treating or investigating the emotions and the mind.” In this Psychology-Online article we show you 15 techniques that will help you manage emotions more adaptively.
We can use different tools and techniques to manage emotions. Some of the ones we propose will be useful for a specific moment. Others are designed to be practiced regularly and thus develop certain skills that will be of great help when the time comes.
Knowledge of emotions
To learn to manage emotions, we must know a key concept developed by: emotional intelligence.
Daniel Goleman defines it as the ability to recognize our own feelings and those of others, to motivate ourselves and to appropriately manage emotions. Therefore, the first step to effective emotion management consists of know emotions and learn to identify them in ourselves and in others.
It may seem like a very simple task, but there are many emotions that are expressed differently depending on the culture. However, in the field of study of emotions, some were identified that are expressed in the same way regardless of culture:
- Happiness
- Sadness
- Fear
- Gonna
- Disgust
- Surprise
He is the ability to manage emotions so that they do not take over our behavior. Consider managing, since, although these are not unpleasant, they can harm us in certain situations.
- For example, receiving good news in a tense or sad environment (a class or a funeral) can provoke a happy reaction in us that it would not be advisable to show out of respect for others at that moment.
We might think that emotions cannot be controlled because they are biological reactions like hunger or pain, however, yes we can learn to express them appropriately.
Thought stopping
This technique to manage emotions consists of using a keyword to stop thinking that generates emotion. You can choose the word you want, it is recommended that its meaning be brake, stop or similar. Some examples are “stop”, “stop”, “enough” and “now!”.
Muscle relaxation
Relaxation is very indicated for relax the body when an emotion activates it. It is advisable to practice it daily because the more you practice it, the less time it will take to relax when the time comes.
You can start with many muscle groups (for example: left hand and arm, then right, biceps and left shoulder, then right…) and later reduce the groups (arms and shoulders, head, legs…).
Here you will find all the steps of the.
Diaphragmatic breathing
This technique for managing emotions consists of breathing by expanding the abdomen so that the lungs expand. Diaphragmatic breathing promotes concentration and relaxation, which is why it is highly recommended for reduce activation of the body and calm us down in the face of intense emotion. In the following video we explain how to practice it.
Music
Music can make us feel emotions and modify our mood. Activate us, relax us and even promote concentration or creativity. That’s why you can use it to regulate emotions as needed.
Empathy
Emotions can change a lot when you see the situation from someone else’s perspective. If you make an effort to put yourself in her shoes and see things the same way he or she does, your emotions are likely to change.
In this article we explain.
Identification of emotions
You can do this by writing a list of emotions and the most common ways of expressing them in your culture. Know how to identify emotions when they start to appear It will help you act quickly so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
emotional diary
Writing an emotional journal is a good technique to find out what usually causes your emotions. It consists of writing down at the end of the day the moments in which you have felt intense emotions, what happened just before and what went through your head.
Full attention
Another way to better understand emotions to learn to manage them is to pay attention to them and feel them as they are. Without thinking if it is good or bad, without judging, just feeling it and describing it objectively in your head. In this article we explain to you.
Self-instructions
Prepare some simple instructions that you will go saying to yourself in case you notice an intense emotion. In addition to knowing what you have to do to not get carried away, it will remind you that you want to manage your emotions and that you can do it.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness training is very useful for managing emotions, since many times these (frustration, anger…) are produced by an erroneous communication style. In this article you will find.
Scenes
He role-playing It is a technique widely used in psychology to practice various skills. Regarding emotions, it can help us learn to respond to certain situations. If you don’t have the opportunity to see a psychologist, ask a friend or family member for help. It will be like doing scenes from a play.
Rational emotive behavioral therapy
This is the best way to manage emotions. Once you master REBT, you will hardly feel disproportionate or maladaptive emotions.
REBT postulates that an event (A) activates the thoughts or beliefs (B) that cause our emotions (C). That is, it is not events that cause emotions directly, but rather the interpretation we make of them. Therefore, the same event can affect two people very differently. Therefore, by changing our beliefs or thoughts, we change the way we interpret events and with it emotions change.
Logic reasoning
Reason the thoughts you have at the moment you begin to feel the emotion. For this you can use questions like:
- Is what I’m thinking really true?
- Am I making a mistake?
- Is it so important to me that it makes me feel this way?
View to the future
Sometimes, reducing the activation of your body using, for example, muscle relaxation or diaphragmatic breathing, does not make you forget about the emotion. That’s when you can stop and analyze the situation and think about whether what happened will still matter to you next week or month. If not, it’s not that important, right?
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to manage emotionswe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Barragán, A. (2016) How to control any emotion step by step. Amazon.
- Ellis, A. (2007). Control her anger before she controls you. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Rock, E. (2003). How to improve your social skills. Valencia: ACDE Editions.