Throughout our lives we will go through many situations that cannot be changed. However, although it is not easy to accept certain facts, we must always try to find a healthy balance between what we expected to happen and what happens in reality. This does not mean that we must approve of all circumstances or that they are not painful, but that the quicker we accept what happens, the easier it will be to move forward.
Therefore, in this Psychology-online article we will explain how to learn to accept reality so that you can move forward. When you manage to understand your present, you will likely feel less anxiety and frustration as you see things from a more positive and hopeful perspective.
What is acceptance
What is accepting reality? Acceptance is a attitude that It implies accepting things “as they are”, without the biases or distortions that we may give it. It is an emotional state in which circumstances must be taken without changing them and without trying to control the situation.
Sometimes, acceptance is necessary to distort the reality of what makes us suffer in order to try to disguise the pain. When there is no acceptance, frustration, anxiety and, often, anger arise. Instead, acceptance allows us to delegate control because we know that no matter what we do, nothing will change.
It should be noted that acceptance is different from resignation, since in the latter there is no tolerance, much less the will to allow oneself to see reality clearly and objectively.
What happens when we are not able to accept reality
People who do not accept reality can fall into a permanent state of dissatisfaction, since they live waiting for everything to happen according to their own perspectives. In some cases, it can even go to the extreme of not enjoying any situation, no matter how happy it may be.
In fact, people who do not accept reality do nothing but wait and wait to be happy because they think that they will only be happy when they have achieved all the goals they had planned. Consequently, they can go their entire lives without enjoying the experiences along the way.
How to accept reality and move on
How to work on acceptance of reality? Acceptance is a process that is linked to , as it helps deal with feelings such as shame, anxiety and guilt. Although it is not a simple process, if you follow these recommendations you will learn to accept reality little by little:
Understand that you have a fight against your reality
One of the first steps to learn to accept reality is to understand that you are immersed in a constant struggle to erase your present, that is, understand that you are resisting reality. Therefore, evaluate whether you feel resentment about your life, your routine, or what you have achieved. This is an effective way to begin to identify what you are holding on to.
Learn that you can’t change what happened
In order to make peace with your reality you must assimilate that it is impossible to go back in time. Although this can be painful, if you manage to identify what you can no longer change, little by little you will direct your energies in other directions.
Practice honesty
Practicing honesty is another good way to accept reality. Do not deceive yourself with statements such as “this will happen” or “everything will be as before”, among others, since surely none of that will happen. If you want to know more about this topic, in the following article you will find what the .
Admit your mistakes
You must admit there is a problem that makes you uncomfortable. If it was your mistake, admit it so you can learn what you should from it and move on. Don’t forget that you are a valuable person and that, like every human being, you can make mistakes, which does not mean that it is the end of everything. When you see that mistakes can also be opportunities, everything will improve
Put aside perfection
Always wanting to be a prefect is counterproductive to accepting reality, since this limits us from seeing the possible failures from which we must learn. Therefore, when you get accept that you are not perfect and that you have the right to fail, you will value your own present more.
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Find solutions to current problems
Complaining is not going to help you at all, therefore, another effective way to learn to accept things is to focus on look for solutions for what you are experiencing. To do this, try to evaluate what makes you uncomfortable and organize a strategy that allows you to improve what you need to improve.
Be grateful
Finally, don’t waste any more energy complaining about what you have and try be grateful for all the good that is around you. For example, your health, your friends, your family and everything that serves to satisfy your needs.
Benefits of accepting reality
What benefits does acceptance have? When you learn to accept reality you will be able to experience the following benefits:
- Reduce anxiety and the need for control.
- Facilitate the path to emotional well-being.
- Increase resilience towards changes.
- Enhance the capacity for reflection and self-analysis.
- Discover new desires and motivations.
For all these advantages, it is essential to accept reality so that you can continue improving as a human being.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Hayes, S. C. (2015). Acceptance and commitment therapy. Desclée De Brouwer.
- Wilson, KG and Luciano, MC (2002): Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. A values-oriented behavioral treatment. Madrid: Pyramid.