As much as your desires can mean in your life and what you can do with them. However, for that you need to know what you want. If you don’t know you can’t say it and you can’t enjoy other advantages of knowing what you want. There is people who don’t know what they want, they usually have no idea about their own desires and preferences. They are people who are not used to thinking about their own interests. If you ask them what they want, they give you the answer that they don’t care or that they don’t care, and sometimes they say that they don’t know or they don’t have any idea about it. They believe that not knowing what they want is not such a big problem because they are used to living that way. However, they already feel that it would be better if they knew what they wanted. Not only because they can’t answer if you ask them. The most important thing for them is that they often feel that they lack direction in their life. If you don’t know what you want, it’s difficult to figure out what you’re going to do.
In this PsicologíaOnline article, we try to help you answer the question of How to know what you want in life.
Consequences of not knowing what you want in life
Without knowing what you want, you run the risk of stay passive and thus become depressed.
Another consequence of not knowing what you want is that it makes you dependent. You will have the tendency to expect what other people ask of you or what circumstances force you to do. These events should not be a problem but if they occur systematically it is something else. If you are always waiting for others and do not take the initiative, you lose the freedom to determine part of what happens.
The last consequence will be that You don’t lead your own life. That can make you desperate. In my work I met people who felt so miserable that some of them preferred to be dead and had suicidal thoughts.
It is hard to imagine that these people, who are often intelligent and have many social skills and abilities, can be so unhappy. They have plenty of talents to lead a very rich life. They have so much chance of success. But that doesn’t help them at all if they don’t know what to do with it. All they have left is a calamitous waste.
How to know what I want in life
Knowing what you want is so important that if you don’t know it, it is advisable to know how to know it. There is a common misunderstanding that what you want is something you must find. It is not. When you try to find something, you go searching. But searching only makes sense with things that already exist and what you want is nowhere to be found because that is something you have yet to imagine or create.
Create things It is one of the various capacities of the mind. Unlike other functions such as searching, reasoning, and analyzing, it cannot be created according to a net method with fixed rules. By creating things you are more dependent on what your mind does on its own. However, waiting is not enough to create something. You need use your will to use that function. With your will you can turn on your mind to create things. When you want to invent or imagine something, take some time and give yourself the order to do it. Then you usually get an idea. It is so simple. Psychic mechanisms are very complicated but using them is not. Just like making a phone call. You can do it without knowing anything about the technology behind it.
However, creating or imagining does not always go without problems. There is often the problem that attention is directed in the wrong direction. To imagine things you should not be too focused on the environment. Because nothing is going to appear there. Your own mind is the place where this is happening. It is a false hope that you will find in your surroundings what you have to imagine for yourself.
Focus on yourself to know what you want to do with your life
Although there is a phenomenon called influence or inspiration. If you hear something from others and think it is a good idea, you can take ownership of that idea. For that you only need decide to do it. That also applies to your desires. If another person wants something that you find attractive, you can decide to want that thing too. Then you have converted some desire of another person into your own desire.
However, I believe that inspiration should happen on its own and is not something that can be forced. Trying to be influenced on purpose to create or imagine things doesn’t work. While you are observing other people you are not going to imagine anything because then you are losing contact with yourself. So you are moving away from yourself and with that you are harming your ability to create things.
So imagining what you want doesn’t work well if you ask the other person either. So you can’t even take advantage of some of the good examples that others give you. Those ideas will not be appropriate because when you hear them they are things from others and not something from you. Others can teach you many things but for them to verify your desires is impossible. You are the only person who can establish them.
Don’t ask others what you want but ask yourself and if you don’t get any answer, don’t put pressure on others but put pressure on yourself. It will be attractive to escape from your task of responding but don’t give yourself that chance. Don’t take “I don’t know” for an answer either. Force yourself to think of something, whatever it is. Then usually some desire appears.
When you think you couldn’t think of anything, chances are you’ve already thought of something but immediately dismissed it. Maybe because you thought it was something unimportant or unoriginal. However every idea counts no matter how trivial or anodyne it may seem to you. As I wrote before, all your ideas are valuable. Admit it!
Your mind will prove to be an inexhaustible source of ideas if you let it work the right way. Ask yourself what you want in a relaxing but also forceful way and desires appear spontaneously. There will be so many that you just need to decide which one is the most desirable for you. Although these events are very fortunate, they can cause new problems. What to choose from that pile of wishes?
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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