Love is one of the strongest and most intense feelings we can experience. However, it is also something very complex, which is why it tends to confuse us. Therefore, although affection and love go hand in hand, sometimes we misinterpret a simple gesture by someone as having found the greatest love of our life. The ideal is to know the characteristics of each of these feelings to be able to assertively identify what we are really experiencing.
In this Psychology-Online article we will give you all the information you need about how to know if it’s love or affection. This way, you will know that you can feel affection for different people, but that does not mean that you truly love them.
What is love and affection
First of all, love is a deep feeling which is associated with a wide variety of emotions such as happiness, affection, tenderness, among many others. It is a strong feeling of affection towards another individual. You can feel love for your family, your partner, your job, a pet, among many other things. Likewise, this feeling is colored by understanding, tolerance, respect and other positive feelings that make you wish for everything good for what you love.
Besides, affection is associated with mutual affection and liking for something or someone. You can feel it for the person you love, but the opposite process does not occur, since affection is not necessarily synonymous with love. For example, it is common to feel affection for a neighbor, a coworker, or even the plant you like most in your house, and that does not mean that you love them deeply.
Now that you know what each of these feelings are, let’s see how to know if it is love or affection with the following signs:
You can’t stop looking at that person
One of the first classic symptoms of love is entering another person’s gaze. That is, you can’t stop seeing her eyes while you have him/her near her. In fact, when something is observed very insistently, it is a clear indication that there is a strong attraction. That’s why couples who are truly in love “only have eyes for themselves.” That is, if you can no longer stop seeing that person constantly, it is possible that a feeling of love is growing within you.
You look for excuses to be close to him/her
Another sign to know if it is love or affection is that you will always look for a way to be close to that person. It doesn’t matter if it is a casual conversation, through messages on social networks or a spontaneous invitation, since any excuse is good to encourage an approach. In other words, you will want to share more of your time with that being who you are already beginning to truly love.
Imagine, imagine, imagine…
To know if what you feel is love or affection, just remember all the moments of the day when you thought about that person. For example, when you walk down the street and see something, you immediately remember it; If you hear a song, it sounds like your partner and you want to have him/her close.
In short, if most of the day that person dominates your thoughtsit is not very difficult to guess that it is no longer about simple affection.
You are afraid to think that he will walk away from you
How do you know if it is love or affection? One of the characteristics of true love is that we always want to be close to our loved one. Therefore, when you imagine that he might leave you or that he walks away, an alert reaction is immediately triggered that turns into fear. That means You can’t imagine a life without that personsince affection transformed into love.
You feel safe with your company
Another of the main features that it is about love and not affection is that your company provokes security and trust. Therefore, when you are in the presence of your partner, you have no problem telling them your things, showing them your weaknesses and even seeking advice from them, since their words comfort you. That is, it increases comfort and safe tension. However, these feelings are not only experienced when feeling love.
You live more exciting experiences
To know if what you feel is love, just experience the avalanche of hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin that go through your entire body when you are close to your loved one. Besides, will increase the level of happiness. Consequently, his presence makes all the experiences with him exciting and makes time fly by.
Likewise, when that person is far away, the hours move as slow as turtles and you will be impatient for the time to come to be by their side again.
Check out our post if you want to learn more about the effect of love on the body and mind.
You change your look and improve your appearance
Although it may seem like an unimportant detail, it is common that when love awakens, self-esteem levels rise and we seek to improve our appearance. That is, we need to be more attractive.
That’s why, we try to get attention of that person wearing a good perfume, a new hairstyle or a different outfit. These are different seduction strategies that you would never think of applying to someone for whom you simply have a lot of love and affection.
You are interested in his life
Are you interested in knowing another clue on how to know if it is love or affection? You want to know more details about their routine, who their family is, where they live, among many other personal details, which means that the interest in that person is greater than you imagine. You can even take an interest in their desires, projects and desires to try to identify if they are compatible with yours.
You project the future together
No matter how much you feel affection for someone, that will never lead you to plan a life with that person. That is, another tip to know if it is love or affection is that, only when you experience love, will you have the need to plan a future with your partner. It will be something innate and implicit that you will not be able to control.
In fact, you will imagine what your children will be like, the house you would like to have, where they will live and you will devise many future plans where both of you see yourself united forever. Anyway, you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her.
You feel jealous
Jealousy is a fundamental part of true love. Therefore, it is possible that, if the feeling of love for that person has already awakened in you, you will begin to feel jealous of his friends or the things that take away his time with you. Yes indeed, Don’t make the mistake of becoming toxic. that ends up driving away your ideal partner.
To do this, we leave you this article that will help you with this topic: .
your heart races
How do you know if what you feel is love or affection? It’s simple, the heart does not deceive. Therefore, if when that person approaches you, you feel your heartbeat speed up and your eyes light up, there is no doubt that you are facing true love.
This happens because in love neurotransmitters are activated immediately, such as norepinephrine. In addition, you will not be afraid of the people around you noticing your feelings, since all your attention is focused on one thing: the person for whom you feel love.
However, this post will show you, so that you can differentiate the state of falling in love from true love.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Esteban, ML (2007). Some ideas for an anthropology of love. Ankulegi-Journal of Social Anthropology, 11, 71-85. http://congresonacionaldepsicoterapia.es/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Ankulegi-07-Esteban.pdf
- Fonseca, VMF (2019). Mechanisms in the construction of romantic love. Journal of Gender Studies, La Ventana E-ISSN: 2448-7724, 6(50), 282-305. http://revistalaventana.cucsh.udg.mx/index.php/LV/article/view/7074