Every day it is more normal to meet people for whom social obligations and commitment do not suit them, either due to personality tendencies or fear of being tied to someone. With advances in society and the arrival of new ways of relating, different types of emotional ties have emerged that did not exist before. Polyamorous, open relationships, friends with benefits… all this is a curious topic but it is still something difficult to manage emotionally.
The idea that someone belongs to us, jealousy and toxic attitudes are negative reactions that often arise and we must learn to control if we want to have a healthy relationship, whether conventional or not. If you want to know how to have a relationship without commitmentwe recommend that you read the following Psychology-Online article.
Have a stable relationship without commitment
First, we must define what commitment represents to us. Normally, we tend to relate it to monogamy, that is, only having sexual relations with one person. We also relate it to making plans for the future, getting to know your circle of friends, family… it is normal to have a little vertigo when we are forced to meet all these expectations, which is why some people choose to wear a stable relationship but without commitment.
In this type of relationships, no matter how different they may seem, they also there is love and affection. Not following social conventions does not directly imply a lack of love. What’s more, giving each other the freedom to not fulfill any type of commitment can mean a very important show of affection. It is even possible that, with the passage of time, both parties in the relationship adapt and end up generating an agreement between them that is very similar to the one they had refused to do at the beginning of the relationship.
Each relationship is unique, there are many in a couple and only those who live in its dynamics can know exactly if everything is going well or not. The fact that it is an open or closed relationship does not mean that it is better or worse, what really matters are attitudes and mutual respect. That is why, if we decide not to have monogamy, we must learn the best keys to know How to lead a relationship without commitment.
Is it possible to love without commitment?
As we have mentioned before, you can love without commitment and that does not imply any type of lack of respect if the pact had been generated previously. It is possible to love without commitment in the same way that it is possible not to love with a commitment. Pacts are not directly related to love, what is important is how that person treats us and if they are responsible for taking care of us.
Care within a couple does not require a commitment to monogamy, however, it is essential in an emotional relationship. Such care is defined as the attention and affection that a person provides to their partner, taking into account their physical and emotional state.
He loves me but without commitment
It is possible that we are starting a relationship with a person and they tell us that they do not want to have any type of pact or agreement with us. If this situation occurs, it is important to talk and communicate our insecurities and expectations. If we see that that person is not willing to establish a bond and that behind that “I love you but without ties“There is a lack of empathy and responsibility, we may have to consider whether to continue with the relationship or not. If, on the contrary, we are in sync and looking for the same thing, we will have to leave behind many beliefs and social ideas regarding open relationships and try to have a healthy and stable dynamic.
It is also possible that both people like each other, feel an attraction but there is no romantic bond and that, therefore, you do not want to establish a commitment. As we have mentioned before, each relationship is unique and what matters at the end of the day is living that experience in the best way possible.
How to have an open relationship
Making the decision to have a relationship without commitment is not something that should be taken lightly, although it may seem simple, it is not since we have to adapt to new ideas and leave behind many social beliefs. Whether with feelings or not, with care agreements or total detachment on both sides, it is important to learn exactly the best keys to know how to lead an open or non-committal relationship.
Promote your independence
When we talk about independence, we refer to the ability we have to move forward and make up for our shortcomings without having to look for the solution in other people. It is something that has always been normalized, the fact of needing someone to be happy has been romanticized. This is not healthy behavior at all and if we want to take the step of having an open relationship, we will have to be willing to develop strategies to be more independent people.
Treat jealousy
There are many people who claim that jealousy is a natural response to the fear of losing someone, however, it is important to know that society encourages the sense of belonging that fuels the feeling of jealousy. This feeling is extremely toxic and does not contribute anything positive to the relationship. We must learn to detect when we feel jealous and what we can do with it to channel it and prevent it from hurting us and our partner.
Talk about your insecurities
Being an insecure person doesn’t have to mean that you will have a bad open relationship. The key in these cases is identify our weaknesses and communicate them openly to the person with whom we have a non-committal relationship. It is possible that we feel bad about our physique, we think that we are not enough and even that we are not worth being in a relationship. These thoughts are still a product of our head and can be treated with exercises and psychological therapy. The important thing is not to let ourselves be carried away by feelings of insecurity and to avoid developing toxic and dependent behaviors.
The consequences of a relationship without commitment They do not have to be negative, these types of experiences can help us learn more about people outside of social conventions, encourage our independence and strengthen coping strategies. Open relationships can be the solution when we feel attracted to someone but we don’t feel ready to have a monogamous commitment or we simply want to experience what it is like to be in this type of relationship. Be that as it may, the priority always falls on our personal welfare and in feeling comfortable in the dynamic, whether with commitment or without.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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