The society in which we live shows us a conception of love that is not real and favors a series of beliefs that do not help a relationship to be healthy. I’m talking about certain songs, well-known children’s movies, romantic novels…
The time has come for you to forget a little about ideal love and start building a more sincere relationship, less idyllic and healthier! Keep reading the Psychology-online article and you will learn the fundamental pillars to have a good relationship as a couple as well as some habits and tips that can help you know how to be a better couple.
There is no manual for life, much less for relationships, Every couple is a world and it works differently and each couple has to find their own formula to feel good. However, we can consider some basic pillars to ensure a healthy relationship and some tips and habits that can be useful to any couple. The fundamental pillars for having a good relationship are respect, affection, trust and security, good communication, empathy, cooperation and enjoying intimate spaces.
1. Respect
Don’t try or want to change your partner. That’s the key to a relationship! Accept your partner as they are with all its peculiarities. Unconditional acceptance will help you have a healthier relationship.
It is natural that conflicts arise in a couple, it is not about not getting angry, or not saying what bothers us. Is about always speak with respect towards the other person. It is important to know how to manage our emotions so that anger does not dominate us. As? It may work for you to take some time before responding or postpone the discussion to another time so you don’t say things you may later regret.
2. Affection and tenderness
We all like them to be kind and affectionate with us. We have to promote emotional closeness with our partner. A nice message, a sincere compliment from time to time, signs of tenderness, a detail… never stop surprising your partner.
3. Trust and security
Cultivate mutual trust, manage conflicts to keep the relationship alive and healthy. If something bothers you, express it and talk about it with your partner. And above all: when in doubt, ask and do not invade their private area (check WhatsApp, email, spy on conversations…) Do not feed mistrust and jealousy.
4. Good communication
It is important to assertively express what we like and what we don’t, express our opinions, be able to talk about our concerns and feelings… adequate communication can make discussions become something constructive and thus foster unity in the couple. . Don’t assume that your partner knows what you feel and think. Express it! If you accumulate it within yourself, in the long term everything can explode in a more intense way.
5. Intimacy in the couple
Enjoy the intimate spaces. Make your relationship a fun dynamic! It is necessary that you share intimate moments; caresses, kisses, hugs, in short, .
Make an effort to put yourself in their shoes and understand their point of view even if you don’t share it. You are a team, you are on the same side. Create the habit of making decisions as a couple to strengthen your union.
How to be happy as a couple
It is important to establish common objectives, solve problems together and reach agreements respecting each person’s opinion. This does not mean that you lose your individuality as a person. You have your essence! When you detect that you have different points of view, instead of continuing to argue because you are right, propose solutions that include both opinions. If you put yourself in your partner’s shoes, it will be easier to resolve your differences.
Finally, to learn how to be a better partner and be happy in your relationship, you can follow these steps:
- Cultivate common hobbies. It is necessary to find something to do together and have a good time, share good experiences.
- Manage household tasks in an equitable and fair manner so as not to fall into avoidable arguments.
- Try to go to bed at the same time as your partner. It can be a good time for an intimate chat or to start a sexual relationship.
- Do not complain, make suggestions! When we complain we tend to exaggerate and focus attention on what is not working and not on what is working. Convey in detail what you need and not a general idea. Avoid “always” and “never”. And try to say what you want, not what you don’t want, thus developing the (example: “I would like you to call me Isabel” instead of “Stop calling me Isa”). Complaining is the best way to ruin a relationship.
- Respect your partner’s own spaces. It is important to have quality time outside of the relationship. These pleasant moments fill us with energy and make us feel more complete. Apart from having common interests, you must also have your own interests.
- Respect to the people who are important to your partner.
- Don’t lock yourself in the relationship as a couple Look out for friendships and share experiences all together.
- Don’t drag your past. Learn and accept the past, don’t obsess over it. Each person and each relationship is different.
- Keep in mind that to be happy with your partner you first have to be happy with yourself. Happiness is an internal state, which in the end only depends on oneself and for which each of us must take responsibility.
In good love one plus one equals more than two. They nourish each other, enrich each other and multiply. They know how to express mutual recognition” -Joan Garriga-
If you feel that you cannot solve your problems alone, do not hesitate to go to a professional. It will guide you and give you couples therapy tools and dynamics to create a healthier relationship if necessary.