It has happened to many people that they don’t really know how to act after spending the night with someone. There are those who think that if they write it will seem that they are too attentive to the other person, on the contrary, there are those who despair waiting for a message that never arrives and thinking about everything that could have happened so as not to have any sign of the other person. person. In any case, unless it has been established very well in advance how it will be after the fact (and even so, we all know that in sentimental matters there is never an exact science) the how to act after having sexthat is why in this Psychology-Online article we are going to give 8 keys to know how to act based on the situation you find yourself in.
Give and ask for feedback
A good way to act after maintaining relationships is to ask for feedback on how you felt in an assertive and fluid way and listen to the other person about it. Asking for feedback is not going towards anything serious or wanting to straighten things out (although the topic may arise in the conversation) but simply talk about sex and the relationship you have had openly. This promotes confidence between both of us and have sincerity with each other, whatever type of relationship it is, friends with benefits, something sporadic, asking for feedback can help us improve and know what the other person thinks after making love with us.
Reflect
It is important that each person, after having sex, take a few moments to reflect on how has it felt with that person. Listening to yourself first is the first step to being able to make any type of decision in life. We should not only reflect on the meeting, but also on how everything went before and after, if we felt comfortable at all times, if there was something that bothered us a little – a comment, an attitude, etc. – We have been able to comment on it. It is important to evaluate the encounter holistically.
Request privacy
Intimacy is something that should be taken for granted, but, unfortunately, something that is often not done is respecting the privacy of both. That is to say, what has happened between you is something that stays between you. Be careful, this does not mean that you cannot tell your friends that you have spent the night with someone, but it is not necessary to give details of what has been done or not done. Nobody is a trophy for anyone, sexuality is an intimate part of each person and that also when you maintain relations with the other person you also involve that person’s intimacy. Sharing the intimacies that you have made with another person without their consent is a lack of respect towards that person. If you do not want this to happen and you sense that this may happen, do not hesitate to ask that what has happened between you stay between you. If you feel that the other person may not be very clear about this, it is important to make it clear to them.
Calibrate the situation
It should be noted that each encounter also has its particularity, not all people have the same bond and that must also be assessed to know how to act after maintaining relationships. To know how to act later, you must also evaluate how the meeting went and what you expected of this.
Practice empathy
Whether it was a one night stand or something more, you must always show empathy and respect towards the other person, since you have just experienced an intimate moment for both of you, even though it was simply a bummer. It doesn’t hurt to ask how the other person is doing or simply be receptive to any concerns or things they have to tell you.
Take initiative
A very common question is how long it takes a person to call after having sex. Each person is different and will largely depend on their experience and intention to continue maintaining contact with you or not. In any case, if you want to contact him or her, you can take the initiative.
Once you have assessed the previous points, you can consider whether to write to the other person again or not and in what way is best or for what purpose you want to send the message. For this, it is very important that before picking up your phone and writing, you gauge what the meeting was like, how it happened and how it was both before and after.
What to write to a man or woman after making love? Based on all this, we can Send a message of: “Would you like to meet again?”, or a simple: “How are you?” to start conversation. If you prefer. You can also write something like “I had a great time the other night, I hope to see you again.”
give space
Sometimes things get very rushed, it is important that when calibrating the situation we also think about the other person and how they may feel and we can even ask them if they feel comfortable talking to us. Even so, it is important not to monopolize the other person with constant messages saying about meeting again or how they are, sometimes we also have to give space to the other person and let them show interest in us.
To clear doubts
Sometimes, the encounter between two people can raise doubts about what it meant and you may see that their actions after having had relationships are not coherent or are not what you expected.
Perhaps previously he was very affectionate, or when you finished having relationships you slept in each other’s arms and now it seems as if none of these moments existed. What does it mean when a person hugs you to sleep after making love? The fact of sleeping in each other’s arms after having sex can be associated with the different secreted hormones during the relationship that can make a person show more affectionate attitudes, as is the case of oxytocin, which helps improve our mood and also form emotional bonds. After having relationships, more oxytocin is found in the brain and that can cause people to maintain more affectionate behaviors to strengthen ties.
It is important, however, that if you have noticed a radical change in the other person and that has bothered you or made you feel bad, tell him and try to ask for an explanation or give your point of view on the subject, do not be afraid to face what this attitude has made you feel, the other person must be aware of how their actions make you feel.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Morgado Bernal, I. (2015). Emotions in the development of virtues. Educational participation4(6), 47-50.