Narcissists are people who are characterized by feelings of grandeur and heightened self-love, as well as a need for control and to dominate their environment to hide their insecurities. One of the most frequent acts in people with these peculiarities is spying on people they find interesting. To achieve this, they can use various strategies that could go unnoticed. Taking this into account, it becomes complex to deal with this type of behavior, since they are intelligent people who have precise and forceful tools to obtain what they want.
In this Psychology-Online article we will explain how narcissists spy on you.
Why do narcissists spy on you?
The reasons that lead someone to have a narcissistic personality disorder can be varied. However, it is necessary to know them to understand these acts. Next, we will talk about why narcissists spy on you:
- Control: In general, narcissists are people who cannot stand being dominated, which is why they seek to control the situations they experience daily to anticipate any movement.
- Validation: This condition implies that the narcissistic person reaffirms premises and/or questions that he or she has about someone. In other words, this clinical picture is related to great insecurities that are reflected in actions and/or emotions in daily life. Due to fear of being discovered, they spy on their victims to validate ideas of improvement and greatness.
- Intimidation: Narcissists find pleasure in observing other people, as they satisfy the desire to look. Likewise, this act usually intimidates those who are observed and experience insecurities. In this way, intimidation allows them to take control of any scene that comes into play.
In this article we explain to you.
Ways of narcissists spying
This personality disorder maintains a close link with the scenes that are perceived through vision. For this reason, narcissists can resort to precise tactics to achieve what they are looking for. In this section we will point out some methods that narcissists use to spy:
- virtual harassment: Current technology allows human beings to connect with each other, despite maintaining a considerable physical distance. However, this does not prevent narcissists from spying. It can be executed through internet threats, requests for images, requests for private information, among others.
- physical harassment: When the place and environment allow it, narcissists can locate their victims and go to the usual places they visit. For example, they may come to work and school to monitor the person’s activities.
- Approach to the person’s environment: In a subtle way, narcissists can associate with family and friends of the people they want to spy on. To carry out this purpose, they maintain good deals to obtain information and construct a fictitious image of themselves. Therefore, people who do not know this personality disorder in depth believe that they can trust them.
- Sudden disappearances: from one moment to the next, they can stop appearing in a person’s life. However, this is a smart strategy to capture attention. Consequently, victims’ attempts to understand what has happened result in narcissists having more information.
- Use of close people: To spy, narcissists have allies who do the work of collecting specific data. For this reason, they try to get other people to foster lasting social interaction.
How to detect that a narcissist is spying on you
To glimpse this class of actions, it is essential to have some indicators. In the next items, we will develop how to detect that a narcissist is spying on you:
- Discomfort with simple questions: Although the intention is to know in detail the ideas of another person, narcissists feel insecurities and fear of being exposed. For this reason, they may be nervous when questioned about their actions.
- Permanent demands: Narcissists are people who are intolerant of frustration and have difficulty adapting to changes. For this reason, they demand that their demands be met without any objection. They also have no empathy for others and nullify any desire that is expressed.
- Intuition and feelings of discomfort: trust your instincts. If you feel like you are being watched or that your privacy is being invaded in some way, it is important to pay attention to those feelings.
- Changes to objects on your property or environment: If you notice that your belongings are out of place or something appears to have been tampered with or moved around, this could be a sign that someone has been snooping around.
- Detailed knowledge of your private life: If the narcissistic person mentions specific details about your activities or conversations that you have not previously shared publicly, they may be obtaining this information improperly.
- Invasive questions or too precise details: If they ask you overly detailed or invasive questions about your personal affairs, this may be another sign that they are collecting information about you.
- Using technology to spy: In extreme cases, a narcissistic person may use hidden cameras, microphones, or unauthorized access to your electronic devices to keep tabs on every detail of your life.
- Subtle comments or threats: Sometimes narcissistic people may make vague or threatening comments about things they would only know if they have been spying on you.
- External validation: Talking to people you trust about your suspicions and concerns can give you an outside perspective and help you evaluate the situation more clearly.
If you want to know more information about this topic you can read.
What to do if a narcissist spies on you
If you suspect that you are being spied on by a narcissist, it is important take steps to protect your privacy and security. This may include seeking help from professionals, such as counselors or therapists, and even considering legal measures if necessary to ensure your well-being.
Although it is difficult to cope with these moments of tension, there are some approaches to reduce discomfort. Here we explain what you can do if a narcissist spies on you:
- Put limits: although it may be difficult, in these cases it is necessary that we make ourselves respected. Setting clear, forceful boundaries can prevent narcissists from spying further. Here we explain.
- Expose it: Narcissists do not want to be discovered, since that would alter the image they show. For this reason, revealing them helps to interrupt these behaviors.
- Think before act: Impulsivity can bring unfavorable results because the person is devalued and their words are unimportant. Unlike this, reflecting beforehand invites you to find better solutions.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Trechera, JL, Vázquez De La Torre, M., Fernández, G., Morales, E. (2008). Empirical study of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Revista Acta Colombiana de Psicología, 11 (2), 25-36.