How does a person act when an INFIDELITY IS DISCOVERED? – 15 typical behaviors

Social relationships are very important in a person’s life. Much of our psychological well-being depends on our social relationships. In these we establish links and specific emotions appear that are intended to protect the relationship created. Sometimes, when the relationship is threatened by a third person, jealousy and jealous behaviors may appear. Jealousy is present in many relational situations of the person, such as family, work, school, friendships. Even so, the jealousy that we encounter the most or that tends to be most common is that observed in romantic relationships. In Psychology-Online we will explain How a person acts when they discover infidelity.

Change behavior

We detect a change in attitude in our partner and we cannot relate it to anything, at work, as he has said, everything remains the same, in his family everything is going well, among you he says that too. However, you detect that he is not with you as before and despite asking actively and passively, the other person ignores the question and diverts the topic.

Hide the mobile

Eye! There are people who have always maintained their privacy as something sacred, which is why they never left their cell phone in sight of anyone. Even so, if your partner has never had a problem with having his cell phone on the table, opening his messages in front of you and even lending it to you, but lately he seems very reticent and reserved with it, it could be that he wants to hide something. Here you will find more information about .

Make excuses

Your partner has been very transparent with you and has almost always included you in many plans he made, but lately you feel that he makes excuses for everything and that he seeks a lot of time with other people but not with you.

be irascible

One of the typical signs that a person is unfaithful is that they are more touchy and irritable. The person who is cheating on her partner, due to the strain that he maintains to avoid being caught, can be more irascible when he feels that his infidelity may come to light.

Offer too much attention

Another typical behavior of a person when they discover infidelity is excessive attention. It may also happen that the culpability due to infidelity make the person much more attentive than they were before. He cooks that dish you like so much, takes you to dinner at your favorite restaurant, etc.

Avoid conversations

One of the things that people do is avoid talking about what we believe may cause us conflict. Surely, you have some suspicion about who the person he is cheating on you with may be, perhaps you have tried to snoop a little on the subject indirectly with your partner, but every time you bring up the subject he either avoids the situation or He gets tense and you see that he doesn’t know how to leave the topic.

Show insecurity

There are people who, despite having an affair with another person, are terrified by the idea of ​​losing their partner and, fearing that they have been discovered or could be discovered, they show a certain insecurity and ask for their partner’s constant approval. couple.

be distant

Perhaps the couple does not want to face the conversation after finding out that you know they have a lover, which means they can show themselves much more. cold to avoid an argument. Time is taken from a distance to decide or to face the reality of what happened and the consequences it may have.

Show emotional lability

It may also happen that upon discovery of infidelity, the person present different moods fruit of his confusion. Maybe there are days when your partner seems very close and days when he prefers to have a lot of space. All of this may be due to the difficulty in understanding your emotions and what you truly want. Here we explain.

Not assuming the consequences

Since your partner knows that you know his secret, he has not spent a single day at home, it seems that he does not care at all how you are. Well, there are people who, when faced with problems, have difficulty facing them and that leads them to behaviors that make them avoid thinking about it. Such as going out to party and getting drunk.

Present irritability

The partner may be angry at having been discovered and present some irritability, as a result of their frustration. Here we explain.

Passivity

When a person is unfaithful to their partner, they may begin to act in a less active way in the relationship, they settle for everything. He does not propose new plans and you notice that he does not invest quality time with the couple, he seems distracted and absorbed.

The environment changes your behavior

Perhaps the environment is aware of what is happening, either because the couple has verbalized to them that they are seeing another person or because they have seen them together. This fact creates a climate of discomfort that can be seen reflected in the attitude they adopt. respect to you two.

Do not have sexual approaches

All the passion that there was has vanished, it cannot be associated with the passage of time and routine, everything has been tried to revive the flame. But lately you notice that he grooms himself more than usual, that he has different behaviors than what he had but they don’t seem to be for you, since he continues in the same monotony as always.

Avoid intimacy

It may happen that the person who commits infidelity feels guilty and that leads him to try to avoid intimate moments with you. Even though you look for them again and again, the person rejects those moments and if sometimes they are established you notice a certain tension.

How to discover infidelities?

Despite what many people think, in a moment of distraction I look at their cell phone and I’m going to discover, that can be an attack on the privacy of the other, and despite the fact that the other person is being unfaithful to you, their behavior towards He doesn’t have much respect for you, but that doesn’t mean you should put yourself at his level. There are other ways to discover infidelities:

Notice

It is important to pay attention to our partner and their usual behavior; observation will allow us to detect when there is something that bothers us in the relationship.

Communication

Use communication to get your partner to express what they needed to tell you. To do this, you can give feedback on how you see your relationship today, this will allow the other person to take them out of it if they have any concerns.

  • Example. “Lately I’ve noticed you’re more distant, I know maybe I am too, but that makes me think that maybe we’re not okay or that something’s going on between us.”

Ask

Arm yourself with courage, think that you don’t deserve all this and go directly to ask if there is another person. His reaction, his words and how he acts when faced with the question will surely open your eyes.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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Bibliography

  • Baumeister, Roy F., & Leary, M. (1995). The need of belong: Desire for interpersonal attachment as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin117, 497-529.
  • Costa, N. & da Barros Barrode, R. (2008). Jealousy: an exercise in interpretation from the perspective of behavior analysis. (1). 139-147. ISSN: 1794-9998.
  • DeSteno, D.A., & Salovey, P. (1996). Evolutionary origins of sex differences in jealousy? Questioning the “Fitness” of the Model. Psychological Science7, 367–372.
  • DeSteno, D.A., Bartlett, M., Braverman, J., & Salovey, P. (2002). Sex differences in jealousy: Evolutionary mechanism or artifact of measurement? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology83, 1103-1116.
  • Hupka, R.B., & Bank, A.L. (1996). Sex differences in jealousy: Evolution or social construction? Cross Cultural Research30, 24 – 59.
  • Salovey, P., & Rothman, A. (1991). Envy and jealousy: Self and society. In P. Salovey (Ed.). The psychology of jealousy and envy (pp. 271-286). New York: Guilford.
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