All of us have been manipulated at some point in our lives, whether we are aware of it or not. However, there are people who base their entire personality on manipulating the rest of the people around them. These are known as manipulators.
Usually, psychologists relate this type of behavior to those people who have a manipulative personality. As for these individuals, they tend to act in a cynical and unprincipled manner, trying to obtain the maximum benefit from the rest of society without caring about the feelings of others, since they lack remorse and empathy.
As you well know, manipulative people base their relationships on deception and lies, with the sole purpose of achieving their goals. To do this, they tend to detect the weaknesses of others and take advantage of them, creating a dependency on them. They are quite methodical individuals, so they think in detail about the acts and behaviors they are going to carry out to, at all costs, avoid being discovered by the person they intend to manipulate.
However, they do not always achieve their goals and are unmasked by those they deceive. Therefore, in Psychology-Online we are going to show you cHow a manipulator acts when discovered.
How to detect a manipulator
Manipulators are people who have been perfecting their deception tactics over the years and have therefore managed to become very chameleon-like people who tend to adapt quickly to situations. That is why detecting them and discovering their deceptions can be very complicated, however, as happens with other individuals, their personality ends up emerging and coming to light.
These people initially camouflage each and every one of their objectives within well-intentioned actions, that is, they will act in a friendly manner and giving the impression that they are disinterested people, however, their true intentions are always present.
One way to discover their intentions is to observe the way they present themselves, because when they want someone to accept a request of theirs, They will tend to act like victims of society so that in this way you empathize with them and accept all their demands.
Depending on your answer, another part of your personality may come to light. If you accept the demand, they will make you look like their savior and thus make you feel superior and want to always protect it. However, if you refuse to make that request, a aggressive facet and an intention to blame you. With these two attitudes, their intention will be for you to rethink the lawsuit as a result of the feeling of discomfort and guilt that it will create in you. Here you will find .
The handler’s reaction to being discovered
Like other people, each one will act in a different way once they have been discovered and their deceptions have been exposed. However, there are a series of patterns or behaviors that they use as strategies to redirect the situation:
- Quickly change behavior. Manipulative people, when others realize their intentions, radically modify their way of behaving to divert the attention of the person they are trying to manipulate and, in this way, they think that it was all a product of their behavior. of your imagination.
- They may try to make the other person feel guilty.. They create a hint of doubt within you about what you think of them and make you feel guilty for having thought badly of them. In this way they ensure that at another time you will do whatever it takes to compensate for that feeling of guilt. If that is your case, we recommend reading.
- They try to justify themselves by all possible means. One of the phrases most used by manipulative people is: “I’m not the only person who thinks/does this.” With this statement they aim to reduce responsibility for their actions and gain some credibility.
- They try to turn the tables becoming the victims. They usually want people who have discovered their deception to feel sorry for them, so that they “understand” that they are acting that way justifiably.
- Another way they have acting is through anger. They try to impose themselves on the person who has discovered them and thus intimidate them, thus having more time to think and plan their future actions.
How to fight a manipulator
To be able to fight against a manipulator you must initially learn to recognize them and this, many times, is not easy at all, because over time the manipulators perfect their techniques and deceptions, disguising themselves as lambs when in reality they are wolves waiting to attack.
There are many types of manipulators, such as: the dependent, the aggressive, the interpretive and the sarcastic, among others. However, a series of guidelines could be given to be able to arrest a person with said personality.
- Don’t let him become “the victim”. This is one of the strategies most used by manipulative people to make you believe that you are to blame. Learn to verbalize his actions and show him that you know his intentions and that therefore he will not be able to play the victim with you.
- Don’t let him put on a show for you. When they see that their goals are not going to be met, they get angry and behave like real angry children. In this case what you have to do is ignore their behavior since this is just another way of emotionally blackmailing you.
- Set limits. Since their personality drives them to be quite aggressive, don’t let them be aggressive towards you. Make yourself respected and valued and this way they will know that with this aggressive behavior they are not going to achieve anything from you.
- Teach them don’t let yourself be manipulated. Say “no” when you feel like you don’t want to do what they ask of you and don’t feel any guilt or remorse for doing so, since you have the right to say no.
- Express everything that you dislike and explain how you feel. This pattern is a consequence of the tendency that manipulators have to criticize others so that, in this way, the other individual’s weaknesses are visible and they can take advantage of them. To do this, it is essential to know how to be assertive. Here you will find .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- JoyBell, C. The importance of finishing what you start.
- Moraga, FRG (2015). The dark triad of personality: Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy. An evolutionary look. Crime, 57(2), 253-265.
- Ibañez, N. Personality. Jaume I University. 2015