If you ask a man how it makes him feel that his girlfriend or wife is successful, his answer is probably not consistent with what he feels deep down. A new one published by the American Psychological Association suggests that men do not enjoy seeing their female partners succeed, however this does not apply to women, quite the contrary, they feel more satisfied with a successful partner.
No matter whether she was an excellent host or intelligent, men were more likely to unconsciously feel worse when their female partner was successful than when she was unsuccessful. However, women’s self-esteem was not affected by the success or failure of their male partner, according to the study involving American and Dutch heterosexuals.
“It makes sense that a man might feel threatened if his girlfriend outdoes him on something they’re doing together, like trying to lose weight. But this research found evidence that men automatically interpret their partner’s success as their own failure, even when they are not directly competing,” says lead author Dr. Kate Ratliff of the University of Florida.
Men were more likely to feel worse.
Men felt worse when they thought about a time when their female partner had thrived in a situation they couldn’t, according to the findings. The researchers studied 896 people in 5 experiments. In one, 32 couples at the University of Virginia were given what was billed as a “problem-solving and intelligence test” and then told that their partner had placed in the top or bottom 12 percent. positions of all students at the university. Hearing that their partners had scored high or low on the test did not affect what the researchers called the participants’ “explicit self-esteem” (that is, how they reported feeling).
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They were also given a test to determine how they unconsciously felt about their partners’ performance; The researchers called this ‘implicit self-esteem.’ In this test, a computer records how quickly people associate good or bad words with themselves. For example, participants with high implicit self-esteem, when they saw the word “I” on the screen, were more likely to associate it with words such as “excellent” or “good” than with “bad” or “terrible.” If you understand English, you can visit the website to see and take sample tests.
Men who believed their partner scored in the top 12% demonstrated lower implicit self-esteem than men who believed their partner scored in the bottom 12%. Participants did not receive information about their own performance.
Two other studies carried out in the Netherlands showed similar results. This country is characterized by having some of the smallest gender differences in work, education and politics, according to the United Nations Gender Equality Index. However, like American men, Dutch men who thought about their romantic partners’ success felt bad about themselves at a subconscious level than when they thought about their partners’ failure, according to both studies. They said they felt good about this, but the implicit self-esteem test revealed otherwise.
The worst blow to men’s implicit self-esteem was when they recalled a situation in which they failed and their partners did not.
In the final two experiments, conducted online, 657 participants in the United States (284 of whom were men) were asked to think about a time when their partners had succeeded or failed. For example, some participants were asked to think about their partner’s social successes or failures, such as being a charming host at a party or a more intellectual achievement or failure. In one study they were asked to think about a time when their partners had succeeded or failed at something they themselves had succeeded or failed at.
When comparing all the results, the researchers found that no matter whether the achievements were social, intellectual, or related to the participants’ successes or failures, the men unconsciously felt just as bad when their partners were successful compared to situations in which they were successful. they failed. However, the worst blow to the men’s implicit self-esteem was when they recalled a situation in which they failed and their partners did not.
The researchers also sought to know how satisfaction in the couple affected self-esteem. The women in this study reported feeling better about their relationship when they thought about a time when their partner had been successful compared to when they thought about their partner’s failure; The same did not happen with men.
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