For different reasons, some couples are forced to maintain a long-distance relationship. Do long distance relationships work? At we inform you about this difficult situation.
Can long distance relationships work according to psychology?
In general, relationships can be complicated. If we add distance to the usual problems, difficulties may arise. There are several influential factors on whether the long-distance relationship works or fails. For example:
- Time that the members of the couple are separated. It is not the same as separation being for weeks, months or years.
- Distance between the members of the couple. The more distance there is between them, the more difficult it will be for them to see each other during the period of separation.
- The foundations of the relationship. If it is consolidated, trust and security will be greater so there is a greater chance of success.
- The duration of the relationship. At the beginning of the relationship the feelings are more intense, but more contact is also needed.
Problems and solutions for long-distance relationships
If you have to be separated for a while, it is recommended that you know some of the problems that may arise, as well as the solutions that can help you. Below we address 4 of the most frequent problems and tips to solve them:
Time issues
It is possible that, between the places of residence of the members of the couple, there is a large time difference. This can make communication difficult.
- Solution: Set a time to make calls. One of you may have to make an effort so you can change the time every week.
Jealousy
Jealousy and insecurity can appear and cause some arguments. Comments from the environment about the possibility of the relationship failing or the emergence of third parties can have a negative effect.
- Solution: Maintaining daily communication can help. It is not advisable to jump to conclusions without asking your partner first. For example, if you haven’t picked up the phone or haven’t responded to a message. Working on the relationship can also help increase security. For example, having details, reminding our partner what we like about him or her, etc.
Here you will find everything you need to know about it.
Absence of physical contact
The impossibility of physical contact, kisses, hugs, caresses… can be difficult to bear.
- Solution: First, make the most of the encounters. Additionally, you can use your imagination and tell your partner what you would do if you were by their side. The more detailed the explanation, the more real it will feel. You can also apply this to sexuality.
Arguments or fights
Just as in normal circumstances arguments can affect the relationship, when there is distance it would not be different.
How to make a long distance relationship work
Long-distance relationships are not a dish of good taste for anyone, but they can work if the separation is temporary. For this to happen and the distance not to mean the end of the relationship, it is important to work on it.
- Take care of the relationship and communication. Dedicating time and effort is essential.
- Work together to solve small difficulties that may arise, it will strengthen the relationship.
- The trust In these cases it is essential because, as we have already seen, jealousy and insecurity can arise.
- Tell your partner how you feel and encourage you, and vice versa.
- Talk about the future together or together to increase your motivation and make it more bearable.
- While the separation lasts, make an effort to see the other When possible it will give you strength to continue.
- Make the most of the benefits of technology current. Don’t limit yourself to messages and calls. You can have online dates (dinner, coffee), play games together, watch a movie at the same time while discussing it…
Here you will find other tips for .
How to know if a long distance relationship is working
Distance can confuse us. Longing, frustration at not being by our partner’s side, emotions in general can make us doubt whether our relationship is working or is breaking down. There are certain signs that indicate that your relationship is on the right track:
- You feel loved. If you feel that your partner is by your side even if it is not physically, that he loves you and supports you, your relationship is on the right track.
- You miss him/her. If you want to talk to your partner, you are looking forward to the time to talk and much more so that you can see each other, that longing is a good sign.
- Thinking about the future makes you feel good. If when you imagine the end of the separation and the future together you smile, you feel good and you are looking forward to that moment.
It is important that you keep in mind that distance is hard and can affect your mood. You can confuse hopelessness with disinterest, which is why communication is very important and that you talk about your feelings to avoid misunderstandings.
In summary, Long distance relationships work if you work at them and the separation is temporarybecause the future together again is the motivation to overcome the difficulties of being separated.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Beck, A. T. (2011). With love is not enough. Madrid: Paidós.