From childhood, but even as adults, also encouraged by therapists and trainers of diverse nature, we are educated in sincerity, in being honest, in sharing emotions, thoughts and events. However, we must know that, if we tell the truth without assertiveness or without first measuring the consequences, we will not be doing good to that person despite our intentions.
Without a doubt, we have all been too sincere in some circumstances, but when sincericide becomes the only channel to express our opinion, something is wrong. In this Psychology-Online article we will better understanddifference between sincerity and sincericide.
What is sincerity
An entire novel could be written about the meaning of the word “sincerity”, since it is one of the most beautiful qualities that a person can have, to feel good about themselves and to have good relationships with others. Sincerity is a highly appreciated quality, it implies truth, the lack of fiction; But what is psychological sincerity? The coherence between what we think, what we say and what we do.
We trust more and, on the contrary, we do not trust people who we consider insincere, false or liars. To the word “sincere”, in fact, the vocabulary gives this definition: that when acting, speaking and the like, he expresses with absolute truth what he hears, what he thinks (from the Latin: sincerum, that is, frank, pure) .
Everything seems clear, as does the fact that sincerity has always been exalted as a beautiful quality and necessary, while its opposite, that is, being, has always been condemned as an ugly and harmful vice.
If we approach the term sincerity and reflect on its opposite, we are precisely with insincerity or lies at one end of the continuum; However, if you are wondering what it is called excess of sinceritywe would be talking about the term known as “sincericide”. Below we explain its meaning.
What does the word sincericide mean?
Andrè Maurois, a French writer from the last century, said that being sincere does not mean saying everything you think, but rather not saying anything that is the opposite of what you think. The sincericide is precisely this: tell someone what you think very directly and sometimes even brutal or unfiltered, without there being a real reason or advantage on the part of whoever expresses the concept or whoever hears it.
The word “sincericio” has been coined by psychologists precisely to define the behavior that drives us to be brutally sincere, honest and brave without any filter, even when the context does not openly require your opinion. It’s about a reckless, tactless and verbally irresponsible actwhich generates conflict to the extent that it is perceived, rightly, as impolite behavior.
This term is, of course, a play on words, and refers to “suicide” in a completely abstract way, due to a excessive attachment to the trutheven when it is brutal and even when it can hurt others.
But this suicidal attachment to the truth can be the expression of something much deeper: for example, a desire to punish the other or even oneself, precisely through the use of the truth; Honesty, therefore, is instrumentalized to obtain a certain rescue.
The sincere person considers himself to be an honest, upright and whole person, but in reality he is a fragile person who has suffered a wrong or who believes he is being treated unfairly, believes that he is not valued or even trampled on. The truth becomes a “legitimate” weapon to attack to the world that has deeply disappointed him.
What is the difference between sincerity and sincericide
Sincerity is an important virtue because knowledge of the truth is a value of honesty; However, some people confuse an apparent ethical and honest sincerity with sincericide, that is, with the destructive attitude of not measuring the impact that offensive words can have on those who receive them.
- The main difference between sincerity and sincericide is that while in the first case the truth expressed is necessary and constructive in the context of a relationship, on the contrary, the second reflects a totally useless message that does not add positive value to the situation in which two people live.
- When we say sincericide, what we are talking about is telling the truth with indifference and without limitswithout thinking about what the other person feels or wants.
- Being sincere without becoming sincere is an art that involves the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others, know the circumstances and have empathy; without counting the verbal and communicative abilities to know how to use the right words and not hurt.
- Sincericide one becomes and sincericide can become a true way of being: when evil immediately has its roots in childhoodIn fact, sincericide can be something so deep-rooted that it is already essential.
That is, the difference between sincerity and sincericide lies in a fair balance between public conversations (the ones we keep with others) and private conversations (with ourselves). Therefore, it is important to become aware of our private conversations and process them properly before making them public, so that the effect they have on others is exactly what we want.
Becoming aware of the impact that our words can cause and the possible consequences implies a greater knowledge of ourselves, and the following questions can help us in this sense: Where will I end this conversation? What benefits or prejudices will I derive from this conversation? What impact could what I am about to say have on me or others?
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This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- De Simone, A. (2020). Sincericide, i kamikaze della verità. Recovered from: https://psicoadvisor.com/sincericidio-kamikaze-della-verita-9343.html
- Mortari, D. (2017). Sincericide. Recovered from: https://davidemortari.com/2017/09/14/sincericidio/