In the course of a Relationship Different stages are experienced that depend on the evolution of said relationship. Each of these stages involves processes of change necessary to adapt to the next.
These changes are accompanied by crises that present themselves as opportunities for growth. Opportunities to adjust or reevaluate the relationship and make decisions, decide whether to maintain it or end it.
What are the typical couple crises throughout the life cycle?
Depending on each couple and their own dynamics, the personal circumstances that affect each of their members, small or large crises may arise at any time during a stable relationship. However, if we consider the typical crises that appear when stages are completed, we can identify four major moments of couple crisis throughout their life cycle:
First year crisis
During the first months of a relationship, its members usually go through a state of love characterized by passion, excitement, fascination with the other person…
Approximately, a year or a year and a half after starting the relationship, the idealization that has been made of the other person becomes more nuanced and things begin to take their place in a more reasoned and reasonable way. In some cases it may be a shorter period.
It is then that each member of the couple recovers their space, their circle of friends and begins to recognize and accept (or not) defects of the loved one.
If there is really a strong bond, the couple will move forward. Otherwise it will separate. Many relationships do not overcome this crisis.
Three-year crisis
The approximate period for this second crisis in a stable couple is three years. The main challenges that characterize this phase are the approach to coexistence and, if this already exists, the Willingness to have children.
That is to say, the need to reinforce the degree of commitment is gaining strength. At this point it is common for a new reassessment of the situation to occur that resolves in a new phase or leads to a breakup if one or both parties do not feel prepared to take these steps.
10 year crisis
This new crisis has one of its key aspects in children. He birth of a sonthe arrival of a third party, which is also frequent in the previous phase, entails changes in habits, schedules, a readjustment that also extends to the couple’s relationship itself and can put it in danger.
Although with him children’s growth the couple can stabilize, in many cases divergent parenting styles are revealed that can be a source of conflict. Likewise, the attention that the members of the couple previously gave each other now focuses more on the children, which is why it represents an inevitable change that is sometimes difficult to manage.
Another key aspect that must be taken into account in the 10-year relationship crisis is sex, which frequently takes a backseat or becomes routine. This can generate doubts, imbalances, tensions, reproaches, self-esteem problems, etc., which can affect the relationship to the point of marking its end.
Empty nest crisis
Couples who have achieved balance in their relationship will still encounter another common crisis. It is called the empty nest crisis and it is what occurs when children leave the family home. It also usually coincides with stages of retirement, with age-related ailments, etc.
It may be that, at this point, accustomed to a different dynamic at home, they feel strange or grieve over the departure of their children, or they may not agree on how to share the time they now have. The dilemma that opens up before them is whether to somehow reinvent the relationship or follow the path alone.
The may be the most appropriate option if it is not possible to find an adaptive solution to any of these crisis situations or others.
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