The last time you had a fight with someone close to you, what emotions did you feel? How did you act? Did you criticize the other person, insult them? Did you get defensive when they tried to explain to you what was wrong? Or were you able to joke and lighten the mood? We all fight, but we differ in the way we deal with conflicts. And it turns out that the way we handle conflict says a lot about the future of our relationships.
Two people, who have grown up in different homes, will have different ways of approaching conflict, but it is the way they handle that conflict that determines the strength of their relationship. In fact, it can even help strengthen a relationship. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about the couple arguments and how to solve them.
Is arguing with your partner good?
Arguments can be very bad over a long period of time and can really start to wear things down, and the relationship in general.
But if your arguments are only occasional – and don’t get out of control – then you may have nothing to worry about.
Many experts agree that they are more concerned about couples who say they never argue than those who say they do so occasionally – if a couple is never arguing, there’s a chance that one of them is simply bottling it up. and feeling very unhappy. Although it may not be the most productive way to share problems, arguing can serve a useful purpose – in the sense that it usually involves both sides of a couple saying what they think.
Constant couple arguments
Yes, when you are arguing you find that you are returning to the same topics over and over again – neither of you is willing to listen to the other’s point of view and sometimes you lose your temper and say things that you will later regret – You probably aren’t doing the relationship any good.
If you notice that, it is possible that you have been stuck in a vicious circle, repeating the same negative behaviors until you risk causing permanent damage. It is important to get out of this as it is likely to cause resentment to the point that it is difficult to focus on anything else.
Some benefits of arguing with your partner
We tend to think that if a couple argues all the time it is bad or a sign that something is wrong, and this is partly true, but it depends on the type of arguments and the frequency, and above all on the couple’s attitude towards them. when dealing with conflict. Conflict can be a good thing. Before talking about how to resolve a relationship argument, it is important to talk about the positive points to argue with her:
Relieves stress and anxiety
The silent approach is not always the best when it comes to your partner. The feelings and words we sometimes suppress to “not provoke an argument” can bring more stress to our body, mind, and life. Over time, bottled up feelings can create stress, which is unhealthy for your stress levels.
The fight or flight response is activated as your body tries to deal with repressed emotions, while stress hormones can trigger headaches and lack of sleep.
Increase confidence
When discussing and an agreement is reached, it shows that you can get through things together, even when things are tense. Agreeing to disagree is beneficial for both parties and often builds trust because neither of you could have reached a conclusion without the other.
Show commitment
Arguing shows your partner that you worry about the relationship. Being honest and talking about something that isn’t working isn’t easy, but if you didn’t care about the relationship, you wouldn’t have the drive to bring it up. It is important to discuss cordially, listening to each other and making changes together. Which exalts commitment. Owning your feelings and not blaming your partner for how you feel is the best way to get them to listen to you.
Improves health
Be honest and in fair form it can bring numerous health benefits. Pent-up anger causes an increase in cortisol and adrenaline in the body, leading to digestive problems and even substance abuse as a way to cope. This can range from bingeing on chocolate to drinking alcohol. Talking about what isn’t working clears the body’s adrenaline and stress hormone (cortisol) and releases endorphins, making it happier and healthier.
How to solve constant arguments with your partner
Of course, that doesn’t mean that every time you’re upset with your partner, you should yell at them. If you can avoid a fight, you should. To do this, in this article on the couple arguments and how to solve themwe propose some very effective tips.
So if you feel that a disagreement is about to lead to an argument, you can put the following tips into practice:
- take a moment. Sometimes it’s a good idea to remove yourself from the situation until you’ve both calmed down. You may be able to see things more clearly once you’ve had a little time to think. It’s usually a good idea to talk about differences when you’re not feeling much emotion or when you’re feeling upset – and especially not during other discussions. This can minimize the risk of saying something hurtful and therefore making things worse.
- Use “I” phrases instead of “you” phrases. It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. Instead of framing your comments as attacks, talk about how you feel. That way, you’ll be taking responsibility for your own emotions instead of blaming your partner for everything. It may also be a good idea to make more general comments about the situation than about the people involved – that way, it can be seen as something that needs to be resolved together.
- “Let go” of some things. Many conflicts are caused by one or both partners being unwilling to forgive minor transgressions or hold on to things that have upset them. Adopting an attitude of general forgiveness in your relationship can make things much easier. This doesn’t mean letting your partner walk all over you – it just means leave bygones in the past rather than letting it accumulate over time.
- Communicate openly in generall. Open and honest communication in relationships is very important and is one of the best forms of prevention. If you want to talk to your partner about something, do it, don’t keep it hidden and expect the other person to guess what is wrong. No one is a mind reader, no matter how much you would like them to be. Discover here.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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