“TOI acted like this because of my low self-esteem”, “that person is very proud”, “my friend always achieves what he wants because he has a lot of willpower”… These are common explanations to explain our own behavior or that of people around us. But what is self-esteem? Where is it located? And willpower?
Dualism in psychology and society
The origins of what we propose today can be found more than 2,000 years ago when Plato established the existence of the sensible world and the world of ideas, of the division between body and mind, the physical and the mental, what is known as dualism. .
Dominant psychology usually has, more or less consciously, a dualistic position in which thoughts, emotions, beliefs, constructs are explained… As something mental understood as different from the physical, of an existence beyond, which function in a different way. different from everything else, the physical. Also consider that this mental world determines or conditions the physical one, it contains the causes, as when it is said that “he does not speak in public because he is ashamed” or “he always wins because of his positive thoughts.”
These types of conceptions about human behavior are deeply rooted in our society and are part of our normal way of talking about it, so it can seem normal and coherent. But at the same time, they can be limiting for oneself. If we consider that there is a mental thing, “beyond,” that determines us, we will hardly be able to do anything about it.
Behaviorism: A monistic and pro-scientific alternative
The main alternative to the dualistic philosophy of the predominant psychological schools is found in the . In the words of Skinner, “my toothache is as physical as my typewriter.” Historically, “otherworldly” explanations have been given to all series of phenomena. In past times, for example, storms or droughts could be attributed to some God, the fact that a stone falls could be attributed to a soul that wanted to return to earth, or certain behaviors could be attributed to having the devil inside. In many of these facets, science has managed to overcome dualism and provide empirical and monistic explanations of the facts, and .
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Let’s now talk about the “phallic symbol”, which I know is what has brought you here. In the 1950s, the mainstream in psychology was psychoanalysis, which also related to dualism, suggested that behavioral problems were due to a “beyond” called the unconscious.
The behaviorist psychologist Teodoro Ayllon, perhaps in an example of the ease in making friends that behaviorism has sometimes been criticized for, carried out a curious test in favor of monistic explanations and in opposition to the psychoanalysis of the moment.
In the psychiatric hospital where I worked, there was a woman admitted for 23 years who spent most of her time lying between the bed and the sofa. Ayllon and her partner Eric Haughton, using operant conditioning, made her spend more and more time standing holding onto a broom.
The hospital’s psychoanalytically oriented psychiatrist wrote a report in which the following could be read:
“His constant and compulsive rhythm holding a broom… It could be seen as a ritual procedure, a magical action. When regression conquers the associative process, primitive and archaic forms of thinking control behavior. Symbolism is a predominant mode of expression of deeply rooted unsatisfied desires and instinctive impulses… her broom could then be: A child who gives her her love and she gives him her devotion in return; a phallic symbol; the scepter of an omnipotent queen”
This anecdote of debatable morality clearly supports the need for a scientific approach when developing psychological knowledge, based on the empirical, and not on hypothetical concepts and constructs.
Okay, yes, we are not in our 50s, nor are we all psychoanalytic psychiatrists… Let’s consider a current example:
- My friends tell me that they have become vegetarians since meat today is chemically manipulated and is bad for their health.
- I see a program on television about the terrible conditions of the animals we feed on.
- I read a documentary about the great advantages of a vegetarian diet for personal well-being
- My partner becomes a vegetarian
- We go to a vegetarian restaurant and it tastes exquisite
- I become vegetarian
A dualistic view could explain my behavior of stopping eating meat based on my beliefs about animal food, or being a vegetarian, implying that this is the cause of my behavior. However, it seems unlikely that without my direct, physical experiences with vegetarianism, I would have become a vegetarian myself. Of course, in this process thoughts appear in relation to being vegetarian or not, but they are also consequences of my physical and direct experiences with it, not causes of my behavior.
In fact, from behaviorism, the fact of thinking about being vegetarian, feeling an emotion, remembering… are understood as behaviors only observable by the person who has them, which does not mean that they work differently from everything else; These are responsive and operational behaviors like any other, only in this case exclusively accessible to oneself, they are private behavior.
Where is all this taking us? Let’s talk about self-esteem…
All human beings have a personal philosophy, whether more or less explicit. We constantly give explanations about how the world works, and for this article it is especially relevant; about how people function.
Believing that there is something inside the person, that exists as such, or a mental world that conditions us, is undoubtedly something limiting for the person who wants to have changes in their life.. In consultation I frequently meet people who are looking for , and feel more motivated. Consistent with the predominant and usual philosophy, they understand that “I need to change my self-esteem to be able to do what I want” or “I have to be motivated to succeed.”
The interesting thing is that when asking about self-esteem, why they want it, or how they know that someone has self-esteem, they usually mention aspects such as the following: They act with determination, they know how to say “no”, they seek to relate to others, they set goals and They strive until they achieve them, they do things that others might be afraid of…
So, looking at all this, physically again, one deduces that there is something mental behind it, self-esteem, that allows you to do it. However, the evidence we have is that she is a person who does a whole series of things, and probably, when she sees herself doing all of this, the thoughts she has about herself are those popularly called “positive.”
If we ask someone why you want that “pack of pleasant thoughts” instead of others, the answer would be precisely, so you can do different things, have a better life. It seems unlikely that someone can deliberately “modify their self-esteem” or change thoughts of “you won’t be able to” for those of “you’re great,” especially if they are considered on a “mental” level other than the physical.
What if we started with what can be changed, and at the end of the day, the ultimate goal of having self-esteem or motivation, which is to do different things in life? Yes, there is an interesting area to work on, which would be, regardless of what someone may feel or say about themselves, focusing energy on acting with determination, saying “no” when necessary, seeking interaction with other people, setting goals and striving to achieve them, or doing things even with fear present.
Seeing yourself doing all of the above, rather than not doing it, is likely to change one’s perception of oneself, if that is important to the person. Even so, at this point having some thoughts or others about yourself may no longer be important. When the concept “self-esteem” or “motivation” no longer get in the way of what one wants, the person does not act exclusively based on what he or she can feel at a given moment, but rather based on what he or she wants for himself now. and in the future.
One can free oneself from what until now had been barriers, from those “limiting mental entities” that are talked about, but at least today, there is no evidence that they exist, and focus on the present, physical, to get what you want.