In childhood, those that will influence our later love relationships are consolidated. Depending on the type of attachment we have experienced, the emotional bond established between the adult and the child, we will have more possibilities of building healthy or toxic relationships.
Secure attachment style and its influence on the relationship
This, characterized in childhood by security, unconditionality and acceptance, generates couple relationships built by positive emotions and feelings of trust. They are people who usually have good self-esteem and a greater ability to identify and manage emotions related to anxiety. Thanks to it, they can respond better to the needs that arise around the couple.
Consequently, they can establish more stable relationships, make firm commitments, and also demonstrate a better ability to be without a partner without losing that stability.
How ambivalent attachment style influences a romantic relationship
In relational ambivalence, emotional care is inconstant, the minor does not quite trust his caregivers, since sometimes he receives said care but other times he is left waiting for it. For this reason, he is excessively cautious when exploring the world, since he does not know if they will find the support he needs.
Derived from all this, in its adult stage it usually presents many difficulties in resolving their relationship problems independentlythey seek external help constantly and exaggeratedly, with anxiety.
Thus, relationships can be marked by insecurity, by the idea that the other person is going to abandon them, by the difficulty of being alone, by mistrust and low self-esteem.
The implications of avoidant attachment in the relationship
In this type of attachment, the care demands have not been satisfied in childhood. Adults who have established this type of insecure, avoidant attachment tend to inhibit their emotional states and do not recognize their anxieties or fears.
For this reason, elusive relationships are usually established, with fear of intimacy, to which these people contribute emotional coldness, the signs of anxiety or fear within the couple are not attended to nor is help asked. For this reason, on many occasions the person avoids this type of emotional relationships, manifests the fear of compromise.
The couple relationship in cases of disorganized attachment
As we have seen in other articles, disorganized attachment is characterized by negligent and aggressive care in childhood, which can cause low self-esteem, emotional problems of various kinds, distrust, fear and lack of contact with reality.
Therefore, people marked by this type of attachment usually have great difficulties establishing quality emotional relationships and they can normalize aggression, violence and abuse.
Couples with this attachment style can understand interpersonal relationships as a power struggle and tend to be the most toxic and harmful in a couple context.
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