Are you afraid of commitment? It’s called philophobia and it can be treated

Every person is a world. There are people who fall in love more than others… and there are also those who flee in terror from commitment. If you are one of the latter, it is very likely that you have a phobia, more frequent than it seems, and that has a diagnosis and treatment.

The philophobia It does not have an official definition according to the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), but it is a reality in our society.

Philophobia is considered a fear of falling in love or emotionally connecting with another person. And although the symptoms may vary from one person to another, the most common are:

• Frightening or critical thoughts regarding love and relationships.

• Believing that relationships only bring pain and suffering.

• Thinking that we are going to be abandoned.

• Feeling emotions such as fear, sadness, loneliness, rejection, or a feeling of emptiness.

Beyond these symptoms that could indicate that you suffer from philophobia, there are also other signs that can manifest physically.

Philophobia produces both physical and psychological symptoms INA PLAVAN

This is how he tells Borja Alonso Arroyopsychologist specializing in humanistic therapy and TFE with adults from .

• “Symptoms of anxiety may appear in the body, such as rapid breathing, racing heart, feeling overwhelmed and digestive problems or problems, among others.”

• “In addition, as a result of the constant suffering that is felt with this problem, it is possible to have depressive symptoms such as a lack of motivation or energy, apathy or the loss of enjoyment of previously pleasurable activities.”

It can appear due to anxious or depressive parental care, or as a result of a lack of emotional education

Borja Alonso Arroyo – Psychologist specialized in humanistic therapy and TFE with adults at the Claritas Psychological Institute

People with philophobia tend to avoid intimate situations or flee from them when these symptoms appear, which can be both psychological and physical. Although, the specialist clarifies:

“They can have , but always avoiding emotional commitment to the other. As a result of this dilemma in which the person seeks sexual pleasure, but avoids an intimate spacebehaviors such as casual sex, or sex under the influence of substances (alcohol or other drugs) may appear where these are used to reduce anxious symptoms.

Philophobia: why does it occur?

There is no clear pattern. Anyone can suffer from this irrational fear of falling in love.

According to Alonso Arroyo, “it can appear due to anxious or depressive parental care, or as a result of a lack of Emotional education”.

It can also be the result of previous love experiences or self-esteem problems “the result of experiences not necessarily related to this disorder.”

On some occasions, philophobia requires professional help freepik

The signs that could indicate that you suffer from philophobia are:

• Fear or anxiety in situations of emotional intimacy.

• Escape from those situations when they generate negative emotions.

• Significant discomfort that influences other areas (social, professional or other).

However, it is not related to other types of phobias. Other related fears may appear, although they may seem nonsense.

There is no specific profile for philophobia. “As in many other phobias, it is based on the relationship between the genetic predisposition to present an anxious profile, and the person’s previous experience (such as painful or traumatic events) that influence the onset, severity, and course of the disorder.”

The expert explains it. “For example, in addition to the fear of falling in love, there can be the fear of being alone, and this contradiction in our lives can frustrate and despair us because we long for contact with others, but at the same time we fear the vulnerability of giving our hearts to another.”

It can be cured?

Yes. The first thing to do is explore where this fear comes from or, failing that, from when it appeared in our lives. To do this, you can resort to various questions that can help specify the problem and make it easier to find a solution.

• What am I most afraid of in all of this?

• Within my fear, what have I needed and not had?

In the case of anxious symptoms, the psychologist recommends gradual exposure to situations that generate anxiety, since it is essential to feel capable of overcoming it while training emotions.

techniques can be used muscle relaxationbreathing or meditation.

“If you consider that this problem overwhelms you, generating a high degree of discomfort, I recommend searching in order to be able to live in a freer, happier way, and open to love,” he concludes.