Dreams, goals and desires are an essential part of our daily life. However, it is possible that when you see someone achieve a goal that you had first, you may not know how to recognize whether what you experience inside is jealousy or envy. Although many people often confuse these two terms, they are different concepts, as each one has its own characteristics. For example, jealousy is related to the fear of losing something, while envy has more to do with greed and ambition.
In this Psychology-Online article you will find the main differences between jealousy and envy so that you learn to quickly identify what you are feeling.
What is jealousy
Jealousy is feelings that are related to worry, threat, or fear of losing someone close to us, whether it is a partner, friends or family. In the case of romantic relationships, it refers to a feeling of concern about the attention that the couple may be receiving from other people.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it is a negative emotion in which a person senses that someone will take away the affection of a loved one. That is, in jealousy, there are usually more than two people involved. Discover the different ones in this article.
How jealousy manifests itself
Do you want to know how jealousy manifests itself? Jealousy usually manifests itself with the activation of a state of alert towards a person who we suspect wants to take away someone we love. Usually when we feel jealous the pulse quickens, breathing changesthe attitude becomes hostile and the body prepares for a possible attitude of unconscious defense.
One of the most everyday examples of jealousy is when one member of the couple presumes that someone is paying more attention than they should. Likewise, there are cases of competing for parents’ attention.
What is envy
It is a feeling that can be negative or positive and is associated with the desire to possess something that someone else has. That is, the envious person wants to be in a position to satisfy the individual’s personal desires.
We speak of positive envy when, despite wanting what the other person obtained, you do not feel bothered by it, but rather that feeling awakens the motivation to achieve your goals. Now, if the feeling of envy is no longer a healthy feeling and is accompanied by annoyance, anger and frustration, it can cause a lot of discomfort, in addition to a great internal imbalance.
How envy manifests itself
How to recognize a person who is envious of you? The envy It can be a little sad at first., since you will see your efforts minimized compared to the achievements of others. However, and according to the nature of the feeling, envy can become an engine that gives energy to your motivation to achieve a set goal. In any case, you can feel envy for tangible or intangible things.
An example of envy could be that in a university degree your friends finish graduating before you and you want to be in their position. Likewise, it is also possible to feel envy for a job promotion, for a material good, and even for more personal situations such as having a partner or family of your own.
What are the differences between jealousy and envy
What is the difference between jealousy and envy? Now that you know the definitions of jealousy and envy, let’s look at the main differences between both feelings:
- According to those involved: jealousy is born when a third person gets involved in a relationship, whether personal, work or love, that is, three people are needed. On the contrary, envy is a manifestation that does not involve third parties, but is personal.
- According to the manifestation: another difference between jealousy and envy is that jealousy is negative feelings that end up unbalancing any type of relationship. For its part, envy can be negative or positive depending on the connotation given to it by the person who is experiencing it.
- According to emotions: jealousy is dominated by the fear of losing someone’s affection. In envy, on the other hand, there is a feeling of anger or helplessness for not possessing something in particular.
- According to the consequences: Jealousy does not usually bring good consequences, since it is based on low self-esteem or mistrust, which is why people act negatively. For its part, envy can have both good and bad consequences, since, in some cases, it acts as a catalyst to reach the goals set.
- According to certainty: jealousy is feelings that arise, many times, without any certainty or apparent reason. This is another aspect that differentiates them from envy, which appears when there is a real object or position that the envious person needs in their life.
- According to the hostility: usually jealousy cause hostility and external manifestations that are visible to others. However, envy can more easily hide inside the person and only become visible if the individual decides to express it.
- Depending on the area in which they appear: Although jealousy can appear in any area of daily life, it normally manifests itself in relationships. Envy, on the other hand, can appear in the work, family, personal sphere or in any other space of daily life.
- According to the imagination: Jealousy arises from the imagination or suspicion of losing the affection of a loved person. For its part, with envy there is the certainty that someone has what you long for.
If you want to know more about this topic you can consult the article.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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References
- American Psychological Association (APA). Definition of jealousy. https://dictionary.apa.org/jealousy#:~:text=n.,affections%20of%20a%20loved%20one.
Bibliography
- Martínez, LMR (2005). Jealousy and envy: human emotions. UNAM.
- Montañés, MC, & Iñiguez, CG (2002). Social emotions: infatuation, jealousy, envy and empathy.