I was looking for some resources and exercises to improve the speaking skills of a patient with social anxiety and found this video by Malavika Varadan with 7 very easy to remember techniques to start a conversation. Her recommendations are so good that I will put them into practice in my personal life and perhaps they will also help you.
- The first conversation is a floodgate: Think of the conversation as an opportunity to learn and live new experiences. Just dare, reach out and start the conversation. Make it simple, with a greeting and a smile you can start without problems.
- Ask real and personal questions: Forget the classic “how are you”, “well and you”. Dare to ask personal questions like “where are you from”, “how did you get to this city”, “what do you do” “how did you choose that career”, etc. You will be surprised how willing people are to share their experiences and their lives. Of course there will always be limits on what to ask, but these types of questions are usually good triggers for more valuable conversations.
- Find the “me toos”: look for common interests. Nothing kills a conversation faster than focusing on differences and negative points.
- Offer a unique compliment: Give a genuine and unique compliment to the person you’re chatting with.
- Ask for opinion: We all have opinions. Find a general and easy topic so that the conversation can flow and when the time comes ask the person’s opinion.
- It is present: Pay attention to the conversation and really listen. Don’t entertain yourself with your cell phone or doing anything else. Look the person in the eyes and connect with the moment.
- Name, place, animal or thing: Take some of the elements of the conversation and name or paraphrase them as you speak. This way you will show that you actively listened to the conversation and will also have some points for future conversations.
General editor and co-founder of .com. I specialize in the clinical care of adults with problems of depression, anxiety and emotional dysregulation.