“Take a deep breath and count to ten, visualize a place where you feel happy and go into meditation” who knows how many times friends, family and experts have suggested one of these techniques to stay calm. However, when it comes to actually facing the moment when anger explodes, it is difficult to hit the target, especially since none of the indicated methods are capable of raising awareness.
In this Psychology-Online article we will explain some mental techniques to try keep calm in difficult times.
Breathe consciously
How to stay calm in the midst of chaos? Although it may seem strange, a great help against stress and anger is know how to breathe correctly. When you feel worry and negative thoughts taking over, take charge of the difficult situation and take a few minutes to breathe. We only need a few minutes a day to stand in a comfortable, relaxed position to breathe and listen to our breathing.
To perform this technique, which is called “conscious breathing,” first sit down and close your eyes, and then you can focus on your breathing. At this moment, your mind should not go anywhere else or think about anything other than the inhalation and exhalation, alternating between one and the other every 20 seconds. This is an exercise essential to control anxiety and negativity.
If you are interested in knowing more about this, in the following article you will find.
Learn to listen to your body
Learning to focus attention on ourselves will be very useful to learn to listen to our body’s signals, such as tension or short breaths, and intervene as soon as possible to improve reactions and increase self-control.
Practice exercise for the body and mind
Sport helps relieve tension. In fact, physical activity is a great ally during situations of stress or dominated by anger. At the same time, practice exercise It will help us change focus, get tired and relax and increase the level of , which will improve our mood.
On the other hand, if running, swimming or dancing are not for you, you can consider disciplines that combine physical and mental exercises, such as yoga, Tai Chi or moving meditation, which are both relaxing and energizing. This way, you can stay in shape and even in tune with your body.
Release aggression with movement
On occasions when you cannot practice sports, a good alternative is to opt for make faces in the mirroropen your mouth to open your jaws, massage your temples and eyebrows, punch and kick in the air to release negative energies or give you massages and hugs so you feel some comfort. The body also needs your part to regain calm.
Rest
No person can be in a calm and serene situation if they sacrifice the hours of sleep that their body needs, since sleep is essential for maintain control and increase your emotional intelligence. During sleep, the brain recharges and allows you to wake up ready to face the rest of the day. For this reason, if you don’t get enough rest, not only will your body get tired, but so will your attention and self-control.
In fact, sleep deprivation often increases stress hormone levels, creating an endless cycle in which you will have more and more difficulty falling asleep and sleeping better.
Focus on the present
This aspect is important to not get carried away by dysfunctional thoughts about the past or the future, that is, about aspects that we cannot control. Stay in the here and now allows us to live in a state of active presence and non-judgmental to focus on what is really useful for us.
Disconnect from the outside world
Always being focused on a goal is stimulating, but it does not help make stress an intermittent state of mind. In fact, being available to everything and everyone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is counterproductive to reducing the level of anxiety.
Therefore, at least during weekends and holidays, disconnect for a few hours from social networks, mobile phone and personal or work email. Take care of yourself by doing something you like that doesn’t follow any rules, such as singing, painting or playing sports, among others. These moments just for you will help you in the following days not to lose control of negative emotions and to remain calm in the face of provocation.
Change your perspective and think positive
Change the perspective from which you look at things to reorient thoughts and mind to a positive state. This does not mean seeing life in stars, hearts and pink butterflies, but rather changing perspective and controlling the noise that thoughts often produce. This will improve our quality of life.
To stay calm, stay focused and think positive, which is crucial for reducing negative emotions such as stress and anger. In this way you will discover how positive thoughts can affect the state of both your body and your mind.
Think about pleasant moments
If the calm is about to abandon you, change the scene and strive to think of a situation that evokes pleasant thoughts and sensations. That romantic dinner with your partner, the funny talk with your baby, the jokes with your friends… Let positive emotions flood your thoughts and you will instantly gain some balance.
Learn to be grateful for what you have
We are so used to always wanting more and continually complaining that we often lose focus on what we have, which is often enough.
Various studies have shown that people who work daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude for what we have They present a notable improvement in their mood, energy and physical well-being. To achieve this, the first step is to appreciate the little things that surround us, such as, for example, a job that gives you the possibility of living in peace, a good friend or some pleasant memory. They don’t have to have been major events, but also small things that are part of everyday life.
Likewise, when thinking that you are about to explode has become a constant, sit down and take note of all the good things you have and can achieve, focusing on the positive in your life and on something you like.
Surprise everyone with kindness
In moments of conflict, when someone is being a bit exaggerated, you can confuse everyone with your kindness. If the usual smartass has passed you while you were in line, bring out your softest tone of voice and use the classiest words to tell him how inappropriate and rude he was. The contrast between expected aggression and stylishly displayed kindness will short-circuit in your favor.
Cultivate your social life
Going out with loved ones or friends is helpful in reducing stress levels or the feeling of “being alone and not getting it,” so don’t isolate yourself. A healthy and active social life will increase the ability to self-controlwill reduce loneliness and enhance self-esteem.
In general, to stay calm you need to vent to someone. For this reason, it is advisable to talk to release your emotions and explain how you feel, as well as ask for help from those you trust most when you need it. Only by comparing yourself and letting your guard down will you be able to reduce the level of stress, anxiety or anger that invades you.
Be patient
It is important to hurry and take time to learn to distinguish and put a certain distance between our interior and the exterior. Growing means learn to listen to yourself and understand when we need time. Therefore, in busy everyday life, where difficulties and problems often seem to accumulate endlessly, it is essential to take a moment for yourself and put these tips into practice.
The result will not always be immediate and at first you may not be able to counteract anxiety or anger with positive thoughts or stay focused on your breathing for the necessary minutes. However, the important thing is to give yourself time.
With the continuous stimuli we receive from the outside we have learned, unfortunately, to take others into account more than our demands, with the inevitable consequence of being able to “explode” sooner or later, when we no longer know how to manage all the emotions.
Exercise emotional detachment
It is not about showing indifference or losing interest; on the contrary, exercising emotional detachment means have a different look at the circumstances when emotions have calmed down and everything seems clearer, simpler, more obvious to you. During a fight, it is good to assume this type of detachment immediately, since the anger, jealousy or resentment you feel in the moment is not successful.
However, it will not be easy and you will have to give yourself time and space. Thus, if an argument is about to degenerate, leaving a room can be an effective method to regain proper calm.
Learn to say what you think
There are many ways to express yourself, express ideas and sensations. A person who hides in silence can be very irritating, as can someone who talks non-stop and without filters. It is, on the other hand, a mode of communication that allows one to contain anger without necessarily repressing it, to affirm one’s own rights without denying those of others, and communicate our feelings without hurting to the other person.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Ascione, G. (2020). How to stay calm: 8 infallible techniques. Recovered from: https://www.alfemminile.com/psicologia/come-mantenere-la-calma-s4009828.html
- Lieberman, D. J. (2020). Come I won’t lose my calm. Milan: TEA.
- Zani, G. (2022). The still dopo the storm: 8 ways to stay calm. Recovered from: https://www.giuliazanipsicologa.com/2020/07/06/calma/