Depression is a psychological disorder that affects 350 million people in the world, according to the WHO. It is considered the main cause of disability, in addition to the relationship it has with suicide. Approximately 800,000 people commit suicide each year and it is estimated that 1 in 10 adults has had, has or will have a depressive episode. Therefore, it is likely that one of your loved ones will have this disorder at some point. In which case, you may be interested in knowing how to help your partner, friend or family member with depression.
In this Psychology-Online article, we explain how to help a person with depression and anxiety, things that are better not to say to someone with depression, as well as different tricks and tips for living with a depressed person.
Psychological profile of a depressed person
In order to help a person with depression, you first need to know what this disorder is and how a person with depression feels. Depression is a psychological disorder that can take many forms, from persistent depressive disorder or major depressive disorder to the depressive episode of bipolar disorder.
Although depression is presented in a way different in each patient, there are some symptoms that are found in most people who have a depressive disorder. A depressed person feels vulnerable, feels bad, and is not capable of envisioning a positive future.
Depression symptoms
The most common symptoms and those that DSM 5 takes into account when making the diagnosis of a depressive disorder are the following:
- depressed mood: The person with depression is in a low mood most of the day, feels sad, empty, hopeless and appears tearful.
- Decreased interest and pleasure: The depressed person appears unmotivated and disinterested in issues that they previously liked. The activities that once made you feel good, now don’t.
- Changes in weight: It may be that your appetite has increased, causing weight gain, and the opposite may also happen, that you have lost your appetite and lost weight. Weight change is considered significant if it has decreased or increased by more than 5% in one month.
- Sleep disturbance: The person with depression may suffer, which may consist of difficulties falling asleep or waking up very early without having slept enough hours. You may also experience hypersomnia, that is, feeling more sleepy and sleeping much more than usual.
- Movement alteration: The depressed person appears agitated and restless or just the opposite.
- Fatigue: The depressed person feels tired and without energy practically every day.
- Uselessness or guilt: The person with depression has feelings of worthlessness or guilt, feels useless or guilty excessively.
- Decreased ability to think: The person with depression finds it difficult to maintain attention, think and concentrate. Memory and decision-making ability may also be affected.
- Thoughts about death: The person with depression may have thoughts about death and suicide.
Get informed
First of all, It is very important that you understand what depression is, how it can manifest and what the treatments for it are like. There are many myths about mental health and depression. Depression is not like it appears in the movies: crying and eating ice cream because something sad has happened to you. Depression is a disorder whose cause is multifactorial.
Therefore, you may not see a clear reason and that does not mean that the person does not have depression. As we have seen in the previous section, Depression is not just being sad and cryingbut it is a psychological disorder that also affects the way you feel and the way you think.
Inform him
If the person is not informed about depression, you can help them demystifying this psychological disorder. You can explain to him that this is an illness that he has not chosen and for which he is not at all guilty, that it has nothing to do with “being strong or being weak” and that it is by no means a defect.
Depression is a fairly common psychological disorder, the subject of abundant scientific research that supports the existence of effective psychological treatments for depression. Approximately one in five people will suffer from depression at some point in their lives.
Ask
If you don’t know something about the person or how they feel, better ask them, don’t take the information you find for granted. Besides, Everyone can experience depression differently.. Therefore, if you want to help a person with depression, do not take things for granted and ask them directly how they are feeling.
Empathize
How to help a depressed person? Even if you haven’t had depression, it’s likely that you’ve felt emotional discomfort at some point. Try to understand how this person feels who you want to help. Even if you don’t understand their reasons, even if you don’t share their attitudes, try to put yourself in their place and empathize with their discomfort. In this article you will see.
Postpone
Although depression is a mood disorder, it has been proven through a multitude of research that people with depression have cognitive difficulties: problems in attention, memory and executive functions. Thus, It is important for the person with depression to postpone anything important.
You should not make important decisions or perform important actions in this state. Encourage him to leave for later everything that can be postponed.
Stay present
The best way to help a person with depression who doesn’t want help is to be present. Can let him know you are available To help you in what you need. Sometimes, you don’t need to do anything exceptional, just be there for them. If the person does not live nearby, you can apply these tips by adapting them to the circumstances of your relationship, such as using video calling technology.
In times of social distancing, it’s easy to wonder how to cheer someone up on WhatsApp. We can use messaging applications as channels to stay connected with that person. You can show your support by being present throughout the day and involving them in your daily activities. You can use resources such as songs, videos, images, voice notes…
Respect your space
As we have mentioned before, there are people who, when faced with a problem, refuse to receive help from their loved ones. Even if you don’t share it, It is better to respect your space. You can help in any way the person asks. If she doesn’t feel comfortable with any type of help, even if you think she will do well, it can be counterproductive.
For example, if you want to cheer up a person with depression, you can offer help when they need it by bringing them food and bringing it to them if they accept. While if she states that she does not want to talk about a specific topic, it is better than not to insist, even if you firmly believe that it would be good for her to vent.
Listen
How to help a depressed person? Let him know that you are listening to him by using the . Allow him to express himself freely When he is with you, he lets his emotions come out and verbalizes his thoughts. Simply listen and help the person feel heard and understood.
Do not judge
In relation to the previous point, it is important that do not make judgments about the person and their condition. For the person to feel comfortable talking to you about how they feel, you must avoid judging and imposing. There are some things that are not advisable to say to someone with depression, for example: “don’t cry”, “it’s not a big deal”, “cheer up” or “go out a little and it’ll go away.”
Recommend going to a professional
A depression person needs professional help. how to get a person out of depression According to the WHO, 60% of people with depression do not receive adequate treatment. If you want to help a person with depression, let them know that The best option is to go to a psychologist, psychiatrist or both.
If the person agrees with the idea, you can search for information about it and help them choose a professional, even accompanying them to the consultation. However, something that is very important is that you do not try to be their psychologist. Psychologists are trained for this, we know the mechanisms of depression and the existing treatments. This knowledge is based on years of science-based studies.
Psychological treatment does not consist of mere advice and it is very important that you do not play at being a psychologist without the necessary knowledge.
Supports treatment adherence
If the person with depression has decided to start psychological treatment, it is a good sign. In these cases, you can help reminding you of appointments and supporting you to comply with what the psychologist or psychiatrist has prescribed and do not give up.
Reinforce healthy habits
On the other hand, in cases of depression it is important that you help them maintain healthy habits, such as sleep schedule, rest time, balanced diet and avoid the abuse of toxic substances. Likewise, try to collaborate in creating an environment that is as stress-free as possible.
Remind him of his qualities
When a person is going through a depressive episode, it is normal for them to see everything much worse than it is due to the cognitive bias that causes them to perceive others, the environment and themselves in a negative and pessimistic way, but how to encourage to a depressed person from a distance? Can help you by reminding you of your positive pointstheir qualities, their achievements, etc.
In this article we tell you.
Do not compare
You may know other people who have or have had depression, however, as mentioned above, the Depression manifests differently in each person. If you are interested in knowing how to help a depressed person, you should know that it is not useful to compare the symptoms or duration of one depression with another.
Plan activities with him/her
What activities to do with a person with depression? One of the techniques used for the psychological treatment of depression is behavioral activation. This technique argues that when the person does activities that they like, their mood improves. Therefore, if you are wondering how to help a person with chronic depression, one of the essential tips is to prepare activities to do together.
To start, think of something simple that requires little effort for the person, in addition to being a activity to reward you for her. Encourage her to do the activity and let her know that you will be by her side. If the person doesn’t feel like it, explain to them that it is normal for them to lack motivation and that it is due to depression, but that if they do the activity, they will feel better later.
However, if the person finally does not want to come, do not insist any further. You can try another time. Always with an attitude of understanding and acceptance. In this article…