Maybe you know someone or have seen in movies or series, or it has even happened to you, being in love with two people or noticing that you are in love with two people. Is this possible? Well yes. On some occasions, we may be in love with two people at the same time. So, what do we do if we want to choose one of them? Should we choose only one candidate? Well, we have the answer below.
In this Psychology-Online article, we will show you how to choose between two people you love. Specifically, you will see different strategies that will help you choose between two loves. If you are interested, keep reading as we explain it to you!
Get to know them
How to choose between one person and another? If you are wondering what to do and want to know which one is the most appropriate for you, it is important that Get to know each one of them as best as you can. as long as you have as much information as possible before deciding.
Observe the phases of love
What to do when you are confused between two people? In this choice it is important to keep in mind that you are not always going to meet these people at the same moment, so it could be likely that doubts came because they make you feel different things because they are in different stages of the process. If you want to know what they are, in this article you will see what the .
Overall assessment of each one
Another strategy you can follow to choose between two people you love is make a list of the positive and negative aspects of each of the candidates to be able to observe what you like and what you don’t like about each one.
Once you have made the list, it is important that you assign a value to each of the aspects that you have put on it according to the importance they have for you in a relationship. Once this is done, you will obtain a positive and a negative score for each one, so that you will be able to see, objectively, the side of the list that weighs more for each of them.
Listen to your heart
How do I know who I really love? Value your feelings, how each of the people you have doubts about makes you feel and how you are when you are with them. Asking yourself the following questions will help you:
- Can I be myself?
- Do I feel comfortable?
- Does it give me peace and tranquility? Or on the contrary, do I get upset when I’m with him/her?
- Do I feel valued and respected?
Value what they feel about you
Before choosing between two people you love, imagine that you go through the entire process to decide on one or the other and it turns out that in the end the person you have chosen did not want anything serious with you and yet it is what you were looking for. Therefore, it is important analyze how other people feel about you.
Ask for advice
When in doubt about how to choose between two options, it is good to talk to close friends or trusted people with whom you can express yourself openly, openly and explain the situation to them. It is important that listen carefully to what they tell you and pay attention to it. Although you will make the final decision later, don’t forget that you are also the one who has asked their advice.
Be patient
If you’ve come this far and you still have doubts about choosing between two people you love, don’t rush. Be patient and take all the time you need to be able to decide in the best way and with things as clear as possible. If you need more time, in this article, we will tell you.
Give yourself a deadline
Previously we commented on the importance of carefully weighing the pros and cons of both candidates and doing so calmly. Anyway, It is important that it does not take us too long choose between two people, since, in general, this situation generates a lot of discomfort, both for us and for the people we have to choose.
So, to avoid dwelling on the decision, we can try to set a deadline by which we must give a response. Furthermore, the more time passes, the more doubts will appear.
Trust your instinct
Faced with the difficult decision of choosing between two people you love, it is necessary to do an analysis of what you think, want and what you feel, both you and your candidates, but it is also important listen to your interior. That feeling that moves us more or less when we are with one of them or the other.
If you want to know more about instincts, don’t miss this article about .
Consider a polyamorous relationship
You can be in love with two people at the same time and many studies have shown that by nature, the human being is polygamous, that is, he has the ability to love more than one person at a time. So, instead of choosing between two options, you could ask them if they would be open to it.
If so, you could agree on what type of relationship is best for you, always with the consent of all the members that make up the circle of the relationship.
Create an open relationship
If you have difficulty choosing between two people, and perhaps a polyamorous relationship is too complicated for you, perhaps you are open to having an open relationship in which you can have sporadic encounters with other people, based on what you agree on.
In the end It is important that you can communicate with them and you all agree on what you want, so that there are no betrayals involved and you are all comfortable with what you have decided. In this article, we analyze whether .
Choose to be single
If, despite thinking about the previous advice on how to choose between two people, you still have doubts, or no option convinces you, perhaps being single could be what you need. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you are well. Another option may also be to meet new people and start a new stage.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Alberich Nistal, T. (2019). Polyamory, free or free love? Potentials and difficulties. MLS Psychology Research 2(1), 99-116
- Martínez, A., (2017) «Polyamory under debate». Catalan Journal of Dret Privat, 17(1), 75-104,
- Sierra, A., (May 19, 2018). Six strategies to choose between two loves. The world.