According to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, grief is a process in which we usually go through five main stages: denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance. People who experience some type of grief in their lives usually go through these five stages, with greater or lesser ease. A sign that the grieving process has developed favorably is that finally, and within a reasonable amount of time, the person ends up accepting the inevitability of the loss. However, there are cases in which the person cannot complete the grieving process because they are stuck in one or more of the five stages mentioned.
In these cases, there are certain symptoms that reveal the affected person’s failure to overcome grief. In the following Psychology-Online article we will explain the symptoms of not overcoming grief.
Denial of loss
First of all, one of the most obvious symptoms that the person has not overcome grief is that continues to consciously or unconsciously deny the loss suffered. The grieving process begins with the stage of denial, but in some cases the person remains stuck in this stage and, no matter how much time passes, they still do not accept the loss, with all the negative consequences that this entails for them. the person himself and his environment.
That is, the person who has suffered the loss is unable to move forward on his or her path and can hook the people closest to him or her with his or her denial behavior. In this article you will find more information about
Loss of contact with reality
Another symptom of denial is that the affected person remains unchanged in their daily routine. Regardless of what the loss was (breakup, death of a family member, loss of job, etc.), nothing alters your daily life and, with this, it does not introduce any change that would allow you to accept and adapt to the loss suffered.
Stagnation in this phase of denial of grief has the psychological danger of the person losing touch with reality. Therefore, helping the person to leave this phase is essential to avoid these long-term risks.
Permanent state of frustration and anger
Another symptom of people who cannot overcome the grieving process is that they remain in a long continuous and/or very intense state of frustration and anger.
Although this stage is part of the grieving process, when anger becomes a state that permanently overwhelms the person who has suffered the loss and it seems that, not even with the passage of time, their state of frustration lessens, it means that this person has been trapped in this stage and is unable to move forward in the normal grieving process as they usually do. happen. In this article we explain to you.
Inappropriate behaviors
As a consequence of stagnation and not overcoming any of the stages of the grieving process, it may occur that the person adopts inappropriate behaviors that can considerably harm their health, well-being and public safety.. These behaviors arise as defense mechanisms against not overcoming grief, or one of its stages. Some examples of these harmful behaviors are:
- Aggressive or antisocial behavior: They usually occur as a consequence of stagnation in the anger stage
- Self-harming behaviors: they would be the result of an accumulation of depressive feelings, non-acceptance, frustration and anger
- toxic dependent behaviors: It may be common, during the period of denial and anger, to engage in addictive behaviors involving toxic substances that are often used as a means of evading reality and channeling the frustration suffered.
Inability to adapt to the new situation
Sometimes, the person is unable to adapt to the new situation result of loss, no matter how hard you try.
In these cases, either due to some emotional blockage or due to lack of means and resources (physical, psychological, emotional and/or social), the person is unable to find and establish a new path that allows them to move forward with their life and leave behind the loss suffered.
emotional block
As a result of the great pain suffered by the loss experienced, there may arise an emotional block that paralyzes them and prevents them from constructively addressing the situation. These people are incapable of assuming what is happening and due to an accumulation of many emotions resulting from the experience of loss suffered, they become emotionally dull and blocked. This symptom would indicate that something is not right in the process of overcoming grief.
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Feeling of anguish and depression
Anguish, sadness and depression constitute, in itself, the fourth phase of the grieving process. However, it is expected that these will occur in a period of time that, although it may vary from one person to another, will not last more than two years.
If after this time the person remains in these states of distress, You may have gotten stuck at this stage. and his sadness has turned into a deeper depression.
Resistance to accepting loss
Another symptom that the grieving process has not been adequately overcome is conscious or unconscious resistance to accepting loss. Although people who remain in this state have overcome practically the entire process, the final acceptance of the loss, which involves closing the doors to this part of the past and moving on with their lives, is very complicated for them and they are unable to carry it out. .
Continuous states of restlessness and fatigue
Finally, some physical and psychological-emotional aspects that can occur for a long time (more than two years) and can be an obvious symptom that the grieving process has not been adequately overcome are inner restlessness, fatigue, lack of motivation, insomnia. , lack of appetite, considerably reducing social contact, among others.
The estimated maximum time to overcome grief is approximately two years. In the event that we or someone we know has experienced grief and we notice that after those two years some of these symptoms are manifesting, it will be advisable to alert ourselves and Seek help to prevent the process from prolonging and become chronic until it causes deeper negative consequences that are difficult to heal.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Bucay, J. (2006). The trail of tears. Debolsillo Editorial.