Why do I like men older than me? In this article we explain what it means to be attracted to couples with a substantial age difference, what unconscious conditioning may be influencing and what we can do about it.
The Myths of Romantic Love – Enric Más Cerca
In this closer Enric, Enric Corbera will talk about the myths of romantic love, what defines a coherent, balanced and healthy relationship and what we can do to start living our situation as a couple from love instead of dependency.
What part did you delegate to your partner? –
In this video, David Corbera explains what parts of our partner can complement us and what information is expressed about ourselves.
Reasons why I like men older than me
Falling in love is an unconscious process.
When we fall in love with someone older than us, we can ask ourselves what is it that attracts me to him? Have you ever wondered why you like older men? Any relationship we establish shows us unconscious information.
The greater the excess, the more evident the information it contains will be. In this sense, we refer to relationships where the age difference is significant, rather than relationships with small age differences. What makes us» of that person?
We never consciously decide who to fall in love with, it is a visceral reaction that floods our body and makes us “get butterflies in our stomachs”.
Maybe I have looked for it to change it? I want someone serene to make a family? Could I try to get from him what I needed from my father and didn’t get? There is no single reason but as many possibilities as there are cases.
However, like everything, this is also information. Part of It inevitably goes through identifying our unconscious tendencies.
Often when we fall in love with someone, we fall in love with aspects of our own personality that and that the other person shows us.
The From this point of view, they are a process through which we relate to other people to recover unconscious aspects of our personality and thus be able to complete ourselves as individuals.
The question we can ask ourselves in this regard would be: what does a relationship with an older man bring me? And what disadvantages or dangers does a relationship with a younger man imply in this sense?
Is it a problem to be in a relationship with someone much older than me?
Like any type of relationship, the problem we may have in the interaction goes far beyond the difference in age, culture, religion or race.
No relationship is dysfunctional or undesirable simply because of the attributes of its components.
If we want to understand to what extent a relationship may or may not be constructive, we must attend to basic conditions such as the emotions it arouses, the mutual respect that is generated and what one means for the life of the other.
There is no ideal couple model since each meeting, each combination of two beings can have very different objectives and needs from each other.
However, when there is concern or the need to understand whether or not a relationship is beneficial for us, it is worth investigating the origin of this concern.
Every relationship is an opportunity to learn, evolve and change, but for this alchemical process to take place, an open disposition and conscious observation are necessary.
In search of the father figure
The encounter with the archetypal figure of the “father”
Beyond the figure of the biological father, we all have an internal image of what a father is or should be, regardless of whether we have known him or not, this is what is called an archetypal image.
When we say that this archetypal figure can influence our choice of partner, it can respond to various situations.
It is possible that, as children, we have not had a father or we have had an absent father, or even that our own has intervened in the and we want to recover that link.
Or vice versa, that we have had a very close relationship with our father and that, advanced in adulthood, we have not those aspects that the father figure gave us and let us continue looking for them abroad, in other people.
We do not fall in love with age, but with the characteristics that we unconsciously associate with a person older than us, that archetype that all human beings share about what the father figure implies.
All aspects or maternal that are not covered during our childhood make up a series of deficiencies that we will try to supply through our interpersonal relationships, especially in the “love” ones.
We associate our relationship with the first referent we met: our parents.
As we said, in the , the role of the father and the mother is archetypal, that is, common to all human beings, it is established in our unconscious; That is why we can say that each parent performs a specific function that, in turn, has a marked biological function.
Couples with an age difference in which the man is older, with the maturity and development that he is supposed to, could fulfill the function of making the woman feel safe and protected.
If this were the case, beyond evaluating whether it is positive or negative, it would be useful and constructive to ask ourselves the following: what do I intend to cover with my relationships? How do I not take care of or protect myself? Why don’t I dare to do it?
Ultimately, it is not a question of age, but of resonance. When two people establish a relationship, their information is complemented to give At the couple.
For example, a person with a very present father will often unconsciously seek to bond with someone with an absent father.
All our relationships serve to get to know ourselves better.
Identifying the emotional deficiencies that our partner supplies is the first step to establish a relationship based on rather than a relationship based on need.
Do these relationships have a future?
Any relationship contains learning with adequate awareness
There are many beliefs about relationships: “you should not go back with an ex”, “in the early stages there should be no conflicts”, “the age difference is an insurmountable barrier”, and a long etcetera.
All these beliefs are based on particular experiences and, sometimes, despite the good intention with which they are stated, they end up being more limitations than help.
It is important to learn from the experiences of others but, above all, to understand that each path is particular and you cannot choose the path to follow based on the experiences of others.
It is important to understand that no relationship is eternal, what makes the difference is not playing to “guess” the duration it will have but what it can contribute to our personal development process at this time.
Conclution
As a conclusion, every relationship has a meaning for the two parts that compose it, think about the attributes that you value in those people who you are attracted to and who have a substantial age difference with you.
Whether it’s peace of mind, wisdom, security, confidence… whatever it is, realize what part of you needs to develop these attributes and take advantage of the teacher that life offers you for it.
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