The lies that build your reality –

«The lie occurs when we are inconsistent with ourselves». Lying is frequent in many personal relationships. In this video, Enric Corbera talks to us about “Why do we lie?”

Our conception of the world, of others and even of ourselves is shaped by . These beliefs are arguments or opinions that we take as true and from which we condition our reactions, our opinions and our judgments. Nevertheless, These truths are the result of the experiences of the system to which we belongare arguments perpetuated over time seeking to be transformed.

However, there is something that blocks this transformation, something that we unconsciously do to boycott ourselves, it is about in our day to day. As the novelist Susan Sontag said, “lying is the simplest form of self-defense”. We all lie, we all tell ourselves stories and reasons that cover up places we don’t want to access.

Our unconscious is continuously revealing our lies through the judgments we make towards others and what we define ourselves with.

Imagine someone who prides himself on his independence, always defines himself using that word and takes pride in it. That repeating feature hides informationand it is that you need to confirm and identify with that quality because you want it desperately, so you don’t really feel that you have it. We always talk to ourselves.

Continuing with the example, this idea leads him to avoid intimate interpersonal relationships, not having a partner, spending little time in each social group and continually meeting new people, all to create a facade and an image of independence that reinforces his argument but together with a deep and “inexplicable” feeling of existential emptiness.

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Perhaps in your life you did not have the love you needed or the love you really wanted and you learned that depending on others hurts, that it is dangerous. For this reason, he buried his dependent facet to protect himself, transforming it into an impossible longing and desire. Actually his and his independent facade are just beliefs, states. In her lie he finds refuge from her but, at the same time, as long as he continues to believe her he will not allow himself to change or create other types of interpersonal relationships that make him happier.

Your true identity dies from your lie. The injured boy or girl cannot express themselves since they are buried under justifications and explanations.

One way to discover the lies we tell ourselves is to identify what we habitually repeat to the people around us. When we speak, we are actually saying out loud what we need to hear from ourselves. Do you continually comment on how strong and brave you are? Maybe a part of you needs to make sure of it every time a related one comes up. Is there a topic that you end up talking about regularly without realizing it? What we communicate and how we do it are indicators of everything we hide from ourselves.

Behind the lie there is a “truth” that, paradoxically, is also a lie. In other words, us to cover another, but finally both are beliefs, neither is authentic, but they are biased interpretations of reality and based on the experiences of our life and especially on the experiences of our . If what we tell ourselves is a lie, what is the truth? The only real truth is found in the ability to relativize our lies and stop hiding and take refuge behind them.

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“A lie would make no sense unless we felt the truth to be something dangerous.”

Alfred Adler

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