The couple relationship when there is fear of humiliation

Because the masochist is intent on making life hard and painful for him, he won’t stop until he finds someone who makes this manifest for him.

Normally, it tends to attract malicious and even violent people or, on the contrary, it may be someone with a more or less normal behavior, but in which the masochist will project his negativity and make him feel guilty for his frustrations, his suffering, of leading a calamitous life.

Any action of your partner will serve as an excuse to reproach him for his ungrateful behavior, his selfishness and his lack of love and at the same time, he will try to show him how unhappy he feels because of him.

If he is a passive-masochist, affected by fear, we can observe certain forms of behavior aimed at making his partner behave like an executioner.

For example, in any conflict situation, he will withdraw into himself, suppress his anger and appear submissive, friendly and passive.

His catchphrase could be: “I’ll be good, I’ll be submissive and obedient just the way you want, and that’s the way you’ll love me.”

What he feels, as well as his own needs, is something secondary, what he wants is to blackmail his partner into loving him.

What he feels, as well as his own needs, is something secondary, what he wants is to blackmail his partner into loving him.

He resigns himself to having to renounce himself and submit to the impositions of the other, playing the martyr, but regardless of what his partner does, the masochist continues to feel crushed, miserable and sad.

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This attitude, little by little, makes him fall into a permanent depressive state, which makes him lose interest in life.

He will try to satisfy the wishes of the other, even if it is not out of generosity, but because he does not really know what his true needs are and also to set limits, given his difficulty in saying NO.

The masochist assumes that he should receive what he gives, but sooner or later, his desire will go unfulfilled.

The masochist assumes that he should receive what he gives, but sooner or later, his desire will go unfulfilled.

Another of the characteristics in their coexistence as a couple is that they will try by all means in their power to make the other not happy, they cannot allow this, it would be like another humiliation towards them.

If he or she is suffering, the other has no right to happiness.

On the other hand, in their coexistence, in any circumstance, they will always try to place their partner in the face of impotence, trying to take away their power at all times.

With this strategy, he intends to ensure that nothing changes and to disqualify his partner, to make him make mistakes: “See? You can’t help me either. I can’t, but neither can you.

If it is a masochistic-active person, it will always be dissatisfied and moody.

ANDHe will express his anger openly and will take charge of reproaching him for everything and blaming him for any reason.

Making use of his “verbal darts” he will try to take his aggressiveness out and he will do so at times when his partner is more sensitive.

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YoHe will try to provoke him and try to hurt him, where it hurts the other the most.

The masochist will try to project his negativity onto the partner.

SHe can be very critical and even violent with her, which he will reproach for not respecting him and for trying to prevent him from living his life with absolute freedom.

With this criticism, motivated by dissatisfaction, what the masochist wants is to make his partner feel guilty or to try to change his attitude.

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