People spend most of their lives feeling offended by what “someone” did to them.
The surprising revelation that I am going to make to you will change your life…
No one has ever offended you!
It’s your expectations of what you expected from those people, that hurt you. And the expectations you create with your thoughts.
They are not real. They are imaginary.
If you expected your parents to give you more love, and they didn’t, you don’t have to feel offended.
Somehow, it is your expectations of what “an ideal father” should have done with you, which were violated. And your ideas are the ones that hurt you.
If you expected your partner to react in such and such a way and he didn’t… Your partner hasn’t done anything to you.
It is the difference between the attention that you expected to have with you and the ones that you really had, the ones that hurt you.
Again, that’s in your imagination.
Angry at God? It’s your beliefs of what God should do that hurt you. God never offends and harms anyone.
A habit requires all of its parts to function.
If you lose one, the habit is disarmed. The habit of feeling offended by what “others do to you” (no one actually does anything to you) will disappear when you better understand the source of the “offenses.”
When we are born, we are authentic.
But our true nature is artificially suppressed and replaced by concepts that our parents, school, society and the media teach us.
And they create a false novel of how things should be in all aspects of your life and how others “should” act.
A novel that has nothing to do with reality.
Also, the other people are inventory creatures. Throughout their lives, they collect experiences: parents, friends, partners, etc. and store them in their internal inventory.
Negative experiences leave a deeper mark on us than positive ones.
And when a person is “mistreated” (for not having said or done what was expected of them) by someone, they leave that experience in their “inventory”.
When he meets someone else, he is afraid. And he tries to see if the new person will repeat the same attitudes that hurt him, so that she is predisposed.
Take an experience from your negative inventory. You put on the glasses of that experience and see the new people and experiences in your life through those glasses.
Obviously what he fears provokes him. Result? The same problems and the same negative experiences are duplicated.
And negative inventory continues to grow.
In reality, what it does is that it hinders you. It does not let you to be happy. And as you get older, you are less happy.
It is because the negative inventory increases year after year.
Have you seen the elderly and married couples with many years?
Your inventory is so large, it seems like negativity is your life. Over and over again they draw experiences from their negative inventory in any circumstance.
One of the biggest sources of offense is trying to impose one person’s point of view on another and guide their lives.
When you tell him what he “should do” and he says “no”, you create doubly resentment.
First, you are offended that he did not do what you wanted.
Second, the other person is offended because you didn’t accept them as they are. And it is a vicious circle.
All people have the divine right to lead their lives as they please. They learn from their mistakes by themselves. Let them be.
Also remember that no one belongs to you.
When the American colonists wanted to buy their lands from the red skins, they answered:
“Buy our land?
If they don’t belong to us! Neither the brilliance of the waters, the air or our brothers the buffaloes that we only hunt to survive.
It is a completely unknown idea to us.”
Neither nature, your parents, your siblings, your children, your friends or partners belong to you.
It is like the brilliance of the waters or the air. You cannot buy or separate them. They are not yours.
Only you can enjoy as part of nature.
You can not catch the riverbed. You can only put your hands in, feel the flow of the waters between them, and let it continue.
People are a mighty river. Any attempt to catch them will hurt you. Love them, enjoy them and let them go.
Then; how can i forgive
1) Understand that no one has offended you. It’s your ideas about “how people and God should act that hurt you.”
These ideas are the product of a social mask that you have unconsciously learned from your childhood.
Recognize that most people are NEVER going to agree with those ideas you have. Because they are false ideas.
2) Allow people to be. Let them guide their life as they please. It’s his responsability.
Give them advice ONLY IF THEY REQUEST IT, but allow them to make their decisions. It is your divine birthright: free will and freedom.
3) No one belongs to you. Neither your parents, friends and couples. We all belong to natures gear. Let things flow without resisting them. Love and let be.
4) Avoid thinking too much. Be open to the possibility of new experiences. Don’t use your inventory.
Open your eyes and watch the flow of life as it is. When you clean your vision of dark glasses and remove them, the result is vision cleaning.
5) Perfection does not exist. Not the perfect father, friend, partner or brother.
It is a concept created by the human mind that you cannot understand at any intellectual level, because in reality it DOES NOT EXIST.
Because it is an imaginary concept.
A perfect forest would be pure trees, rich sun, no bugs… Does it exist? Nope.
For a fish, the perfect sea would be one where there are no predators. Does it exist? Nope.
Only on an intellectual level. In reality IT WILL NEVER EXIST.
Naturally, the fish only has to enjoy reality. Any frustration that the sea is not the way it wants it to be is pointless.
Stop resisting that people are not who you want. Accept people as the fish accepts the sea and love them as they are.
6) Detoxify yourself from the poison of resentment and reconcile with life. Real life is more beautiful and exciting than any idea you have of the world.
7) Imagine that person who offended you in the past. Imagine that both are comfortably sitting. Tell her why she offended you. Listen to her loving explanation of why she did it. And forgive her.
If a loved one is no longer in this world, use this dynamic to tell them what you want. Listen to his answer. And say goodbye. It will give you a huge peace.
In light of the short period of life that we have, we only have time to live, enjoy and be happy.
Our companion, death, at any moment and unexpectedly can take us into her arms.
It is superfluous to spend time thinking about the offenses of others. You can not get that luxury.
9) It is natural to go through a period of mourning when forgiving, let your wound heal. Release yourself with someone to let the pain go away.
Reread this article as many times as necessary and let the concepts begin to sow seeds of awareness within you.
Learn honestly from the mistakes you made, promise yourself you won’t do it again, and get back to living life.
If you want to know about the task of the soul you can buy my book by clicking on the Amazon link: