learn to listen

learn to listen it is much more than correctly interpreting the sounds that our interlocutor emits.

To develop true listening we must carry out a previous “cleaning” and investigation work that allows us to differentiate what we hear from what we think or judge.

In this podcast, Enric Corbera explains that true wisdom is an act of conscience, a commitment to listen to oneself that allows us to value what is truly important and relativize everything that causes us suffering.

In this video we reflect on how we react to the opinion of others and also on the information we can extract from ourselves, from the opinions we make about others, our way of listening to them and communicating with them.

If you want to know more about the la method and how to apply it in your life to increase your emotional well-being, follow our social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Youtube.

The origin of learning to listen

the art of listening It has its origin in what Freud called “floating attention” and refers to the fact that the analyst must listen to the patient without favoring any element of his speech and allowing his own unconscious process to act.

is essential for communicate effectively with others and maintain . It is not developed by studying, but is acquired through practice.

Theory related to learning to listen – Theodor Reik

Theodor Reik (Vienna, 1988 – New York, 1969) was a doctor in psychology and a disciple of Freud.

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In his book he proposes a type of listening in which the underlying emotions are discovered to the words that are said. Although it refers to the interaction between the specialist and the patient, it can be extrapolated to any context.

“Nothing that does not have experience as its starting point can become experience for others.”

Theodor Reik

We can all learn to listen in this way and acquire the ability to perceive what others transmit beyond what they verbally express.

Observe the sensations before listening itself

Reik suggests that listening is not just hearing words in the mouth of another, it is an experience.

It is about connecting beyond the ear. You have to sustain the experience of . To achieve this level of connection is essential.

He talk to us about the sensations of the analyst before his own listening:

”The repression of ideas or impulses that you don’t want to know about, and with which you play hide-and-seek. He must periodically test himself to determine how honest he can be with himself and thus avoid growing impatient with his patients’ resistance. The encounter with oneself on very few occasions is a pleasant experience”.

This same, stops us through an honest communication with ourselves and, consequently, improve our way of communicating with others.

Benefits of learning by listening

listen to you to be able to listen

listens to her It is the most important part in communication. If you don’t know how to listen to yourself, what you say will not reflect your real needs. If you don’t know how to listen what you interpret about what you hear it will prevent you from seeing the person in front of you.

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When we are able to offer our presence we can what another person tells us. This is how we open ourselves to the experience of visiting other realities that enrich our way of seeing, living and thinking.

Listening is an active process to receive new information that gives us the opportunity to grow and evolve, both personally and socially.

Learning to listen with Bioneuroemotion

From Bioneuroemotion we know that in order to truly listen to the other, we must begin with .

The habit of observing our thoughtsour way of speaking to ourselves and how we express ourselves with others allows us .

Recognize our way of working internally, the beliefs that influence how we perceive others and our most habitual thought patterns, allows us to be aware of .

Only in this way can we really “see” and listen to others and, at the same time, .

Show our vulnerability to connect emotionally with the other

Authenticity implies, key to emotionally connect with others. From here we can open a space of shared experience in each communicative act, allowing the other person to also be themselves. This is the real meeting point.

The first step in fostering this communication is stop putting our own ahead values ​​and learning.

Do you know how to listen to others?

an interesting exercise to know if we really know how to listen to the other, it is to observe during our conversations if we really pay attention to the other person to understand what he wants to tell us. Or if, on the contrary, our attention is on other matters or on internal thoughts that prevent us from getting the message objectively.

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“It is very rare for people to be able to speak and listen. Very few listen without speaking. Most people speak without listening, because they are too busy thinking about what they are going to say.

Fritz Perls

To identify this, we can paying attention to our thoughts while having a conversation and ask the following questions:

Am I having an internal conversation about myself instead of listening to the other person?

I’m thinking about what I’m going to answer? Am I running a trial?

Do I want to be right instead of seeking mutual understanding or finding a solution to the problem?

Active listening promotes clear understanding of our needs and those of others. When conversations are held based on responsibility, respect, and active listening, space is opened for dialogue that allows agreements to be established, solutions found, and goals achieved.

Bioneuroemotion is an experience that offers us get closer to authentic listening.

It tells us that our way of expressing ourselves goes beyond words and invites us to suspend all judgement. Only then can we establish an emotional communication with others that favors the establishment of healthier and more constructive relationships.

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