Lack of trust leads to dependence on others.
He demands support in his desire to win, but he thinks that if they support him it is as if he were giving himself to others, as if he had given up, as if he had been defeated.
For this reason, when a distrustful person asks: “Well, what do I do?”, in principle, they will accept all the advice they are given, but, immediately, they will start putting obstacles in the way of everything that is suggested.
It doesn’t work for you, that’s not how it should be done.
He will fight until he gets what he wants done. He always acts as he pleases. He will give you a thousand reasons, if necessary, but his goal is to have his will done.
Subsequently, the fear of having been able to make a mistake, of having made a mistake, will appear and he will worry enormously:
“Have I done the right thing to be judged well or, on the contrary, will they judge me badly?” “I must be right or I die.”
To satisfy his desire to have the entire environment subdued, he resorts to two different strategies. Either try to instill fear to manipulate directly or choose to resort to seduction. The important thing is to get away with it.
The distrustful person is a natural seducer par excellence and, for this reason, he needs and seeks the recognition of everyone with whom he is related, both at a family, work, friends, etc. level.
Generally, he maintains a seductive relationship with people of the opposite sex and a competitiveness with those of the same sex.
It usually causes a lot of envy among the people with whom it is related.
It is difficult to feel indifference to a distrustful person; his strong personality attracts a lot of attention and provokes very different reactions: people love him or hate him. There is no middle ground.
He will always try to change the opinion of others.
He gets angry if he is reprimanded for what he does, he does not like to feel observed.
He does not accept people who are lazy, just as he rejects those who are lying or hypocritical, despite the fact that he himself behaves hypocritically and lies when he thinks it is necessary.
He rarely admits his mistakes and prefers not to talk about his weaknesses.
In the face of any conflict in their relationships, they will never acknowledge their responsibility, they always look for the guilty.
When you lose trust in someone, it will be difficult for you to give them another chance, you will literally eliminate them from your life, you will ignore them, and you will even take the word away from them. On the contrary, if this is done to him, he will not bear it, since he experiences it as a betrayal.
Wanting to judge everyone by their looks, their possessions, or their accomplishments and wanting to divide them into winners and losers leads to hostility, resentment, and confrontation, and thus estrangement and separation.
To heal interpersonal relationships, it is obvious that we must be open to the opinions of others and, even if we do not share their points of view, we must still accept them, since people also have the right to be wrong.
And, without a doubt, the best tool to improve interpersonal relationships is to put a sense of humor in conflicts. If we live life as a tragedy, no one will want to be around us.
However, if we try to be compassionate and take things with humor, if we laugh at ourselves and our problems, our relationships will be harmonious, healthy and deep.
Excerpt from my new book LA TAREA DEL ALMA, if you want to buy it click on the Amazon link:
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