Being emotionally responsible implies taking charge of one’s own emotions, being aware that they depend on oneself, assuming it and not making the other person responsible. That is, not putting happiness or suffering in the hands of another person, but understanding that they are our responsibility.
That is why developing emotional responsibility could be the kick so that many of the relationships that do not work well improve.. We talk about relationships of all kinds: family, friends, couples, etc.
Being emotionally responsible then implies being mature enough to assume that our feelings, thoughts, actions and consequences that derive from them are our own. That involves a process of self knowledge and personal acceptance that implies reviewing the life history and behavior patterns that we have learned in order to see ourselves as we are.
In general this does not happen. We are used to placing both our desires and our frustrations on others. These projections are revealed in phrases such as: “you make me do this”, “you are responsible for what I feel” or “I want someone to make me happy”.
So, what is generated are truncated links, frustrations, idealizations, and little sincerity when relating.
Tips for Practicing Emotional Responsibility
- Accept what you do, think or feel. come clean
- Don’t hold others responsible for it.
- Communicate to others what you feel or think with clarity and confidence.
- Manage your own emotional reactions.
- Don’t take everything personally.
- Do not expect what another gives you what you want.
Assuming your emotions is not heavy as the word “responsibility” seems. It’s relieving! First of all because it will lead you to be more and more authentic with yourself, leaving appearances aside. Then, because the links that are generated will also have that same logic of sincerity, and they will be much healthier and more real. And finally, because assuming that responsibility empowers us.
If the cause of our happiness or suffering is not in others, then we can take control of our lives, we can change things for our well-being. We stop looking outside, to look inside, where each and every one of the answers is found.
Remember: “The best day of your life and mine is when we take full responsibility for our attitudes and feelings. It is just at that moment when we really grow” (John C. Maxwell).
And you, are you willing to practice emotional responsibility?
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