It is the involuntary emission of urine after the age of 5 years, when it is normally assumed that they should have already achieved control of their sphincters.
In general, it alerts us regarding territory conflicts, and specifically in the function of losing, marking, ordering or organizing the territory.
Biologically, animals use urine to mark territory.
We do the same but our notion of territory is a little broader.
It can be a real or symbolic territory, such as our house, our office, our things, our country, our partner, our work, our family, our projects, etc.
For enuresis to manifest itself, two emotional conflicts must have occurred, one linked to fear or insecurity in the territory and another to territorial marking or delimitation.
Abrupt and unexpected separation conflict.
Example: After the separation or divorce of the parents, the child may feel anxious about leaving the house of one of them, normally the father.
When there is joint custody, they will spend a few days with the mother and others with the father.
This territorial dislocation can produce an emotional conflict because they do not know what their territory (home) is or who they belong to, whether the father or the mother.
In some cases, children may suffer an emotional conflict because they perceive that the father no longer takes care of them or that they cannot count on him as before.
“Dad won’t take care of me anymore!” I feel separated from my father or my mother!”
In other cases, the cause of enuresis is not as a consequence of feeling separated from someone, but quite the opposite.
The smell that the urine gives off is to unconsciously scare away or to keep the enemy away.
This usually occurs in children who have felt groped, abused, etc.
Other times, nocturnal enuresis can be caused by the fear that the child feels towards his parents.
Mainly towards his father or towards the figure that fulfills that role (grandfather, teacher, etc.).
It may be fear of disliking him for not obeying his wishes or fear of disappointing him, for not living up to, or not being able to meet their expectations.
It mainly affects children who feel a mixture of fear and rebellion against authority.
During the day they are under strong pressure (school, parents, etc.) and feel that too much is demanded of them.
They support excessive ambitions of the parents and, they can suffer, disagreements between their parents about the method of education to follow.
Children during the day cannot relax or formulate their own claims, they cannot free themselves from the pressure to which they are being subjected.
“They invade my territory.”
They feel rejected and oppressed because they have imposed a pattern of behavior that prevents them from being who they really are.
“I feel displaced and I’m afraid, I’m looking for security.”
In the same way, the arrival of a new member to the family can also cause enuresis in a child.
From this moment on, he feels that he is losing the role he had before his parents until then and he comes to feel his brother’s presence as a threat of losing territory.
As a consequence, he unconsciously feels the need to “mark or delimit” what he considers his place, his space.
If the minor has not lived any of the experiences mentioned and the enuresis persists, we must look for stories of abuse or violations in an ancestor with whom they have an affinity.
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